Losing my Muse
by CindyCinlou555
Summary: What I think should've happened after season four. Would Jude really be okay on her own? What happens when Jude isn't okay? Rating maybe upped in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Losing my Muse

Ch. 1

Author's Note: This story is on DLS site but I wanted all my fan fics together so I'm reposting it on here.

I don't own Instant Star sadly if I did the end wouldn't have been like that. This was my very first story so I am currently editing it as I go.

Warning: There is bad language in this chapter.

(Jude's point of view)

I'm sitting here on my comfy leather computer chair. New York City is now where I am not home but where I live. It's a nice enough city, reminds me more of home then London did. Of coarse I am closer to home also. Americans are friendly but nosy. I get questions about my personal life from people who don't know me. I guess once your famous you always are.

You've got mail I hear as I turn on my computer. It's probably from Sadie usual is. Oh no not Sadie I think as I read the e-mail address. The subject line, what _the hell are you thinking?_ I laugh to myself I knew this was coming. Tommy found out my fifth album was going to be a Greatest Hits CD. I opened the e-mail oh no. I started to panic it said _call me right away_.

I begin having a panic attack biting my lip and feeling like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I have to calm down. Oh god, call the man I left back in Canada eight months ago. When I left for London I thought I needed to find myself before I could be Tommy's wife hell anyone's wife for the matter. I wanted to prove I could be independent. Sadly all I did was lose my music, family, friends and most of all Tom Quincy. Tom Quincy he wasn't just my producer, friend, or ex. Tommy was my muse, my soul mate, he was my life.

Six months of beyond crappy music and my label dropped me. I was costing a lot more money then I was bringing in. I knew when my label dropped me I may have trouble finding another label. I finally found a label in New York that had been interested at the same time London was. They were willing to sign me for one album but it had to be a greatest hits album since I wasn't writing anything worth recording and I wouldn't perform anything wrote by anyone else.

Why not go home you ask. I could've gone home. Jamie would sign me with NBR no problem. I could have been with the man I still desperately love. Canada I miss it so much and I miss everyone there. So why I haven't I gone home? Okay, don't laugh but I do have an easy answer its pride and embarrassment. I made a big deal about doing everything on my own I didn't need anyone. But soon everyone will know I can't do it on my own not even close.

My phone rings Sadie. "Hey Sadie I'm okay I lie. Yeah Sades it's just a good career move lying again_. _No they are just signing me for one album. I don't know what's next I might come home I don't know yet. Yeah Tommy e-mailed me sure I'm gonna call him we are still friends after all. Okay Sades give Kwest a hug for me. I miss you guys too. Well I gotta go love you bye." I said. 

I hurried and hung up the phone. I began crying nothing new there I always cried after I talked to her. This time was worse I cried so hard I could barely breath. I miss sister so much. I was beyond happy when she ended her relationship with D and G-Major. Sadie and Kwest got back together shortly after she started working at NBR. Jamie forgave Kwest over the Blu stuff and hired him on to Produce. I'm sure Jamie is a great boss.

Jamie, I miss him too. He and Zep came down last month. I confessed everything to Jamie. He told me I would find my music when I was ready. Jamie didn't say much about Quincy all I know is he is working at NBR now too not sure how that happened. No one really says anything about Tommy. They all know we e-mail occasionally. I haven't heard his voice in eight months and now he wants me to call. I started chewing my nails just thinking about calling him.

My phone rings again damn I'm popular today I laugh to myself. I'll call Tommy later I think as I see its Speid calling. "Hey Sped."I said."Hey dude I mean Jude." He says. I miss him too even him calling me dude even though he knows it drives me crazy. "How's everything you, Karma, your album?" I asked him in one breath. He laughs. "Everything's good we are enjoying being back in the mansion I'm actually glad we won it in the counter suit we are both almost done with our albums and Jamie is planning to send us on tour together." "Awesome!"I said. He pauses for a minute. I laugh and say. "Goahead sped and ask.""Ask whatdude?" He questioned back to me. "Just askalready Spedokay?""Okay, okay" hesaid. "Well why are you doing a greatest hits album and why are you in New York?" He asked quickly. I smile and decide to tell him the truth I need to practice to tell Quincy anyways.

"WellI haven't written anything decent since I left Canada and my label dropped me_._"I admitted.I heard him sigh sadly. I continued talking knowing if I didn't I wouldn't. "It's okay because I found this great label in New York and they said a greatest hits album could really help my career until I start writing again._" _I said. Speid was quite then he asked. "Oh dude why didn't you just come home?" I thought and Now for the hard part. "I am just so embarrassed."I confessed.

Speid was silent for a while then he started laughing hard. "What the hell is so damn funny?" I asked. He was about to answer when I heard a familiar voice say. "Speid tell Karma you'll call her later it's time to record." Oh shit! No not Tommy, Speid won't tell him he's talking to me. Just then Speid said. "It's not Karma its Jude."


	2. Chapter 2

Losing my Muse

Chapter 2

Author's Note: On with the story for those of you who haven't read it there is some bad language in this chapter also. Thank you to everyone who reading, reviewing, and alerts it means a lot to me.

Thank you,

Cindy

(Jude's point of view)

Tommy yelled "Speid give me the damn phone right now!" Oh shit! Oh shit! I kept thinking. "Jude!" Tommy said obviously annoyed. "Hey Quincy, How's it goin?" I asked. I tried to calm down but how could I? He's my soul mate. "Jude what the hell I ask you to call me right away not Speid." Tommy said. "I didn't call Speid he called me and I was going to call you as soon as we were done talking." I yelled. I heard Tommy mumbling under his breath. What is his problem why did he get so upset?

We both stayed silent for about five minutes.I broke the silence and asked "Did you need something?" "Harrison, why are you doing a greatest hits album?" Tommy asked. I wanted to cry I had to will myself to relax. "Every great artist has a greatest hits album." I said. Tommy asked "Why did you change labels?" "To be closer to home." I lied. I need to change the subject."So Tommy, how is it producing at NBR?" I asked. He sighed and explained "It's actually really great Jamie gives us all a lot of support but creative freedom."

That did it I felt the tears and started to cry. Tommy called my name a few times. To be honest I couldn't hear him."Girl, you okay?" He asked. I sobbed harder thinking no I'm not okay I haven't been in eight months. I choked out "I am so screwed up." Tommy asked. "What's wrong Jude?" I could hear the concern in Tommy's voice.I said. "My life, my music, everything is screwed up." I heard him take in a breath."Girl, I'm sure you haven't screwed anything up your greatest hits will be your best album yet and then you'll release some new music after they realize how great you are." I said softly "No Tommy I won't be releasing any new music." I knew he was confused but what could I do this conversation need more than a phone call."Tommy." I began to speak again. "Is there anyway you could come to New York for a few days?" I let out a whimper."Um , uh I don't know Jude." Tommy stuttered out_. _I decided to try harder I need to see Tommy."Tommy I need you." I confessed. He chuckled "Well since my boss is your best friend I think I could get a few days off." "Thank you Tom really you're the best." I replied. He said "No problem Big Eyes after I book a flight or get your sister to book me a flight I'll call." I said "Okay bye Quincy." He said "Bye Harrison and cheer up okay girl I'll be there soon."

(**Tommy's point of View)**

I'm standing here in my boss' door way. When I met Jamie Andrews he was Jude's skinny nerdy friend who annoyed me to no end. I never would've imagined he would end up as my boss. To my surprise he really is a great boss like I told Jude. I actually turned to Jamie a lot after Jude left for London. He always said she would come back to me someday. Jude, Jude Harrison such a beautiful person inside and out. Though she is and always has been the one for me. I still love her I want a future with her but eight months ago she left and moved on. She wanted the Rock Star life for me that was sex, drugs, and then music. Hope music is first for her and she hasn't gotten into things that could badly affect her life and music.

Jamie looked up at me from his computer. "Hey Quincy, Need something? Jamie asked. Even though Jamie and I are closer not it's still strange for me to talk to him about Jude."I was talking to uh Jude and she needs me to come see her in New York for a few days." Jamie smiled like he knew this was coming. "Did she tell you anything?" Jamie asked. I frowned and asked "Like what would she have to tell?" Jamie said "You'll find out soon enough, you can have three days if you need longer just call Kwest and let him know."

As I left Jamie's office and headed for my own I was worried what all is going on with my girl I wondered. I saw Sadie walking towards me I decided I need some answers now. I grabbed Sadie dragging her into the first empty studio. She was shocked and I knew I better explain quickly Sadie has a black belt. "Sorry Sadie I am just really worried about Jude." I admitted. Sadie calmed down and smiled that same smile Jamie had. "Did she call you yet?" Sadie asked. "Yeah we talked for a few minutes she needs me to come to New York for a few days." I replied.

Sadie seemed happy about me going to see Jude. Maybe everyone else is as worried as I am. She said "Jude does need you she needs your help." "How can I help her?" I asked. Jude was always the one to help me she was the strong one.Sadie began to tear up she said. "Tommy, Jude's label in London dropped her she doesn't want anyone to know but it happened." I knew my sadness and confession were all over my face. Sadie said "I have no idea why they dropped Jude she won't talk about it and this greatest hits album I don't know much but I know New York doesn't want anything else from Jude she's without a contract again after the album is done." Why didn't Jude just come home? I wondered. Could she be having trouble writing? No that's crazy Jude can always write it's the way she expresses her self.

I had to get to Jude as quick as possible I had so many questions and not near enough answers.Three hours later Tommy was still sitting were he had been most of the day. Sadie walked into studio B. "Tommy I got you on a flight to New York in three hours." Sadie said. "Thanks Sadie I promise I will get to the bottom of everything and help her get back on her feet." I said. Sadie said "I know you will Tommy." Sadie then handed me a black ring box. "Kwest said you might need this in New York." She said. I opened the box to reveal a blue stone with little diamond stars around it. Sadie said. "Its breath taking Tommy." I said "Tell Kwest thanks I'll take it but I won't need it." Sadie hugged me and wished me luck.

I hurried home throwing my clothes into a small bag. I speed to the airport. Oh Shit I thought I forgot to call Jude I should do that now. I went down my contacts to Mrs. Quincy I did it the day we got engaged I know I sound like a 16 year old girl not a 26 year old man but I was excited okay? Jude answered quickly just like she use to. "So Quincy you still coming to see me or did I scare you off." She joked. I knew she was embarrassed about breaking down earlier. "You could never scare me away Big Eyes." I said using her nickname I gave her. "My flight lands in three hours at JFK." I informed her. The flight was actually okay and I flew coach and everything.Iheard_._ "We are making our descent into New York City it is a chilly and snowy 3 degrees please return our seats to the up right positions and buckle your seat belts."The landing was so smooth. Now I, Tom Quincy am nervous I am never nervous. I am going to see the woman I have loved for four years and still do. 


	3. Chapter 3

Losing my Muse

Ch.3

(Jude's point of view)

After Tommy called I started to get nervous. In three hours he would be here. I would have to confess the truth. My palms were sweaty and my heart was beating like crazy. The three hours passed quickly I hurried to pick Tommy up. I tried to drive slow and concentrate on the road. Don't wreck, don't wreck I told myself. I put on a baseball cap and sun glasses. I stood in front of the gate waiting to see Tommy. Finally he got off the plane also wearing a baseball cap and his signature sunglasses. Is it me or does he get hotter with age?

I ran towards Tommy and jumped into his arms. He groaned. "Ouch girl!" I laughed as he held me tight. I started to tear up. He smiled and whispered. "I missed you big eyes." I said "I missed you more." We noticed people were starting to stare so we hurried to baggage claim and then to my car. The drive was quite besides the radio. I just felt happy to have the man I love sitting next to me.

When we pulled up in front of my apartment building I knew I had just given myself yet another thing to explain to Tommy. He said. "No offense but it's not quite where I expected to see a rock star live." I said. "I'm not a rock star." He sighed and got out of the car. When we got to my apartment I grabbed Tommy's hand and pulled him in. I felt that same shock when I grabbed his hand as I always had. As we entered my small apartment I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.

(Tommy's point of view)

I wasn't sure what happened to Jude but as I held her in the airport I knew it wasn't good. As we pulled up in front of an old apartment building I wondered where we were. When Jude got out I thought why in the hell is she living here? The neighborhood was worse then the one were the rehearsal space was back in Canada. I was just left with more questions.

As she grabbed my hand I had to smile. She pulled me into her small apartment. The dinning room and kitchen were both done in black. Her living room was done in red and black. As Jude pulled me down the hallway I noticed all the pictures of Sadie, Stuart, Kwest, Jamie, Speid, Karma, and even Darius. She had no pictures from London or New York up. She lead me to a very small room it had a bed and dresser. The room was smaller than my closet. She said "This is my guest room so far only Jamie and Zep have used it though." She showed me the bathroom I noticed the black and red theme had continued. Then we went across the hall.

When she opened the door I was shocked at what I saw. She has pictures everywhere and they were all of us just me and her. But to be honest that wasn't the shocking part that made me happy. The shocking part was the room itself. I said "Girl you didn't have to clean your room for me." Jude said "I didn't clean it for you Quincy it has looked like this since I unpacked." I asked "Why aren't your guitars out and were are all your notebooks?" I couldn't help but ask she had the messy room ever and she even got my room that way while we were dating. This just made me feel more uneasy. Jude was starring at her feet. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me. "Jude talk to me please?" I begged.

Jude grabbed my hand and led me back to her couch. We sat next to each other. I need some damn answers and now. "Why are you living in this tiny apartment?" I asked. Before she could answer I decided to ask another question. "What happened in London and why does New York only want you for one album?" I asked. I took a breath she got teary eyed. "Why didn't you ask for help?" "Why don't you look happy?" I asked. Finally I stopped questioning her and waited for her answers. She looked like glass that had just been broken into a million pieces. I didn't want Jude to suffer I love her. I want Jude to be happy. Why is this so hard for her? Does she not trust me anymore?

(Jude's point of view)

I sat shaking and crying. Tommy had so many questions I knew he would. He still cares I can tell. He deserves the truth well he deserves more than that more than I can give him but all I can do is try. I excused myself washed my face and tried to calm down. I sat back on the couch and turned to face Tommy.

He patiently waited. I said "I guess I should start with London my label dropped me because all I was writing was crap." Tommy was about to speak when I cut him off. "Hell I went weeks without writing a single song then I finally wrote and they were all awful." I said. "It's like I can't remember how to make music." I admitted. "After the seventh bad song my boss Amber told me they were dropping me she said it was like I left my music in Canada." I started to sob softly. "I wasn't upset I got fired, I was upset because I went to London to find myself and I feel like I lost everything."

Tommy held my hand and squeezed it for support. "I left my family, my friends and my music." I said. "But that didn't bother me as much as losing you did." I admitted. Tommy's eyes were big and he was obviously shocked. "Tom you weren't just my producer, my friend, or my boyfriend, you're my muse, my soul mate, you're my everything." I confessed.

Tommy seemed confused. "Why didn't you just come home?" He asked. I looked down at our still joined hands. "Mainly it was pride hell I was so embarrassed I had made such a big deal about doing it all by myself." "I remembered a label here in New York that was interested. I got an appointment but when they looked at my new material they asked if I would do a greatest hits album." I smiled sadly and said. "And you're right I'm not happy but that has nothing to do with music." He looked away and said something under his breath. I decided I should at least give him one more confession. "The reason I'm not happy is I miss you and I want to be with you." Tommy chuckled I guess he was taking in everything. I sat as I waited for Tommy's response.

(Tommy's point of View)

Did Jude just say she wants me back? I wasn't expecting that. I can't help but wonder if her music had done well or if she came back to Canada two months ago how different things would be. Damn I do want her back but I can't put my heart back out there and have her change her mind again. I still have questions but I have enough answers for now. I leaned towards Jude and kissed her tear covered cheek. I will help get her back on her feet. I heard her stomach growl. That's my girl I thought.

I laughed and said. "Harrison let's get some grub." She giggled and agreed. I know the next few days are going to decide our future. But right now I just wanted to enjoy my girl. We walked down a busy New York street. I told Jude about making D think I was having a break down. I didn't want her to know how close to the truth it actually was. We talked about Kwest and Sadie reuniting, we both agreed they are much better together I told her I thought Kwest would be proposing any day now.

We spent time laughing about Speid and Karma's marriage because it was actually getting to be a normal one. Jude couldn't believe it when I told her I hooked up Mason and Chaz. She said she could see Chaz being gay but me being a matchmaker cracked her up. I told Jude about the new band I was going to start producing. She told me she was producing her album. We began talking about which 14 songs should be on her album.


	4. Chapter 4

Losing my Muse

Chapter 4

Author's Note: This part is kind of a filler. I don't own Instant Star, any of the characters except the New York co-workers and none of the songs except Jude's new song. There is a little bad language in this chapter. At the bottom of this chapter are the songs for the Greatest Hits CD and they will be brought back up in the other chapters left.

Thank you,

Cindy

Tommy and I ate dinner we talked mostly about music. It got late so we headed back to my apartment. We sat on the couch only our arms touching watching a movie. Before long I laid my head on Tommy's shoulder. I yawned so big. Tommy said. "Okay girl time for bed." I frowned at him. I didn't want to go to bed Tommy was here right next to me. I said. "No Quincy I'm not even tired." He laughed and nodded. We went back to watching the movie. About an hour later I felt myself being lifted up. I opened my eyes a little to see Tommy carrying me. He opened my bedroom door pulled my covers down on my bed and laid me down. He pulled the covers back over me and kissed my forehead. I smiled brightly. I shyly said. "Thanks Tommy night." He said. "Sweet dreams." I dreamt of Tommy all night we were in the studio recording. First it was just me singing then we sung together. It was like the old days but even better. I knew I needed him more than ever before but could I get him to understand how badly I need him. Is that coffee I smell? I better get up I do have a meeting today. I slowly got out of bed threw on my robe and pulled my hair into a ponytail. As I crossed my room I thought damn I need a hair cut.

I walked into my dinning room and smiled. Tommy was sitting at my table drinking coffee and reading the paper. I asked "Got a cup for me?" Tommy jumped I guess he hadn't heard me. He smiled and walked over pulling my chair out so I could sit down. He went over poured me a cup of coffee added sugar and milk to it. Then he went and put poptarts into my toaster for me. I just watched wow was he always such a gentleman or was this new? Finally he asked. "Did you sleep well?" I said. "Better than I have in eight months." He chuckled and said. "Good you need your sleep." I asked. "How about you how did you sleep?" He said. "Better than I have in eight months." I giggled and said. "That's good you need your sleep too." We sat in comfortable silence he read the paper and I ate my poptarts.

After breakfast I took a shower and got ready for my meeting. Both of my bosses would be there. Shane reminds me so much of Darius but a little less greedy. Andrew my other boss isn't much into the business side he cares about the music especially the quality the fact that we are doing this album so quickly makes him nervous. I told Tommy all about Shane and Andrew on the way to the studio. Tommy seemed anxious not that I wasn't. My meeting today would finalize my song list and then tomorrow I would start recording I hated that I had to work while Tommy was here but I figured if we made out meeting fast we would still have the rest of the day to hang out. I knew where I wanted to take Tommy tonight.

As we walked into S&A Records Tommy started smiling I wondered why? He whispered. "This place reminds me of NBR." I hadn't seen the studio Jamie bought I had tried many time to imagine it but wow if it was this big that is great. Gina was at the front desk as always. She saw us she said. "Oh my god it's Little Tommy Q!" I cracked up at Tommy's face he knew she was a fan and he hated that name. I said "Gina Garry this is Tom Quincy." I said. "Quincy she is the Sadie around here." He laughed knowing that meant she worked harder than anyone but had no musical talent. I said. "She was a huge fan of yours too just like my sister." Gina started asking Tom a ton of questions. Poor Tommy he will never escape fans. I saw Robbie the best musical engineer headed our way and pulled Tommy away from Gina. He was more than happy for me to pull him away and nicely said bye to Gina.

I said "Tom Quincy this is Robbie Williams." Robbie laughed. "Hey Tom good to see ya again man." Tommy said. "You too it's been along time Robbie." I looked at them both confused. Robbie said. "I was a roadie for Boyz Attack." I thought why didn't Robbie tell me he knew Tommy he knew about Tommy and I. Robbie and Tommy were telling old stories about each other. Robbie was telling about the time Tommy had kissed a drag queen. We were all laughing when Gina came over and said Jude, Robbie time for your meeting.

(Tommy's point of view)

The studio was great it felt like NBR but even better because Jude is here. That Gina chick was kind of scary but fans always are. I can't believe after all these years I still have so many fans of coarse now they are all in their 20's, 30's, or older. It was great to see Robbie he is such a good guy and from what Jude says talented too. When Gina came to tell Jude and Robbie it was time for their meeting I had planned to walk around and check out the rest of the studio. But Jude wanted me to be in the meeting with her she said her bosses wouldn't care. I figured I should just go with her after all that's why I am here to help Jude.

I walked into the conference room this Jude and Robbie. Two men and a woman were already sitting down. Jude introduced the woman first she was Jude's stylist her name was Kristine. She even made sure I knew it was with a K. She seemed nice and she really into Robbie. Jude introduced Shane first he was in his 40's he was wearing a suit and had short black hair. Then she introduced Andrew he was wearing a dress shirt and jeans just like me. Andrew had this really shaggy blond hair. They discussed marketing and a few appearances Jude would do before the album was released. I noticed that they were aiming to finish Jude's album as quickly as possible.

As they discussed song choices I wondered why Jude hadn't shown them the list she had made the night before at dinner. I spoke up and said. "Jude why don't you show them the list you have." She giggled and said. "Thank Tom I almost forgot about it." She had already decided on 10 of the 14 songs. Shane looked over the list first. He said. "Looks good to me but we should add _Your Eyes_." Jude nodded even though the song was about Shay it was one damn good song one of her best from the first album. Shane passed the list to Andrew.

Andrew looked over the list for a minute and then frowned. "Where is the famous basement song?" He asked. I almost choked on my water Jude wouldn't want 2 am on the album. But then Jude said. "I can't believe I forgot it Quincy why didn't you say anything?" She asked me. I just shrugged what was I suppose to say. Then Shane looked at me smiling. What the hell was he thinking I wondered? Shane asked. "Tom would you maybe be willing to stick around a little longer and sing back up on _Anyone but you_and Jude mentioned duet you sung together maybe we could add it too.

I wasn't sure what to say I could probably get Kwest to take over Karma's album and delay the band a little. Does Jude even want me to stay? Jude said. "Quincy maybe you could help co-produce too I mean we are trying to get this album out fast and you are the best." I started smiling at Jude. She really did want me to stay. Maybe this was our chance our last chance to figure everything out. I said. "Okay if Jamie can spare me I'll help with everything." Jude smiled and everyone else seemed happy that I would be helping. I decided I should push Jude a little though. I said. "I know what the last song should be."

(Jude's point of view)

Did Tommy just say he would stay? I wanted to scream and kiss him. I tried to stay calm but that was the best news I have ever gotten. Maybe I could get Tommy back? What song did he want to add? Tommy said. "The last song wasn't written by Jude but it was inspired by her and she sings it beautifully." I smiled and said. "Yeah your right _Love to Burn_ should be on there." Everyone agreed to the final song choice. I was thrilled to have Tommy not only co-producing but singing with me and I knew if I needed anything else he would be happy to do it. Robbie seemed thrilled to get to work with Tommy too. I knew it would be hard we had to get the album out in six weeks. Then who knows I might go home with Tommy then.

After the meeting I saw Andrew and Shane talking. Andrew asked to talk to me alone for a minute. He said. "Jude if you happen to write a new song we could add it." I wasn't sure what to say I hadn't wrote anything worth recording in eight months but now I had my muse back. I said. "Okay I'll try." Tommy and I got to pick which studio we wanted to record in the next day. I let Tommy choose he picked B which was my favorite. It had no windows and was medium sized. I gave my back up band the list of songs. They already had learned most of my songs.

They were actually a SME cover band strange I know but Speid said they were great and he was right. After I got done talking to the band Tommy and I headed out to lunch we didn't have to be back until tomorrow late morning. As we ate lunch I decided that I still wanted to go to this new club. I asked. "Quincy wanna take a pretty girl to a club tonight?" He smiled and said. "As long as you're that pretty girl then yeah." We made plans to meet up with Robbie and Kristine at the club that night.

_**Song list for Jude's Greatest Hits Album**_

Your Eyes

2 AM

24 Hours

Time to be Your 21

White Lines

Anyone But You

Liar, Liar

Don't You Dare

Here We Go Again

Deeper

The Breakdown

Prefect

I Still Love You

Love to Burn

(New Song)


	5. Chapter 5

Losing my Muse

Ch. 5

Warning: I have upped the rating to mature.

Author's Note: There is smut it was my first time writing smut. There will be 10 chapters and there's a sequel that I will be posting too.

Thank you,

Cindy Jude's point of view

We headed back to my apartment. I got my new little red dress out. I loved this dress it was sexy and I got it on sale. I didn't think I would wear it anytime soon but now I had someone I wanted to wear it for. I am so glad I stole Sadie's red pumps they match perfectly. After I finished curling my hair and touched up my make-up I looked around for Tommy. I guess he isn't ready yet I went over to the guest bedroom door and knocked. I yelled. "Quincy are you ready yet?"

He said. "Come on in." I opened the door Tommy was putting on a black sports coat over his blue dress shirt and he was wearing black jeans. He turned around and smiled like a little boy in a candy shop. "Damn girl you look incredible." He said. I giggled and shrugged. "You don't look to bad yourself." I said. He laughed and said. "If you say so." "Quincy where's your leather jacket." I asked. He smiled and said. "I have no idea it went missing about eight months ago."

I knew I was busted I was busted. I left the guest room and headed for my own bedroom. I looked through my closet and pulled Tommy's leather jacket out. I put it on before walking out of my room. I knew Tommy would appreciate that I had took his jacket before I left for London. I walked into the living room Tommy smirked when he saw me. "Nice jacket Harrison." He said. I said. "Yeah it's my favorite jacket."

(Tommy's point of view)

I had to laugh when Jude asked about my leather jacket. I knew she had to have it. But when she came out wearing it I was a little shocked. Damn even though it's too big it looks really good on her. Though nothing could ever look bad on Jude. When Jude asked me to take her to the club I was happy that we would have a chance to go out and relax before we start working tomorrow.

Jude threw me the keys to her Mustang. I always wondered why Jude hadn't bought a new car. I buy a new car a year. I just bought a new Viper another blue one. I knew Jude would love my new Viper as much as she did the one I sold. I did finish the motorcycles I was going to send Jude's to London but I guess I always wished she would come home.

When we got to the club we went right in. Funny America was even quicker about letting the under aged famous into their clubs. My girl isn't even 20 yet but famous is famous. The club wasn't too crowded yet. We headed to the bar first. I figured I shouldn't drink too much I had to drive home but I can handle my liquor well most of the time I can. I ordered a beer and a shot. Jude ordered some pink drink and a shot of pucker. She downed her shot and asked for another one before I even got mine.

We spotted Robbie and Kristine. We joined them in the two empty seats. I pulled Jude's chair out. And then I sat next to her. Robbie's friend was spinning he had damn good taste in music. Kristine asked. "Jude is that the dress you bought half-off the regular price?" Jude said, "Yeah it was a great deal." I was left wondering again why is Jude so concerned with money. I finally decided to ask. "Why are you so worried about money girl?"

She smiled and said. "I wondered when you were going to ask again." I rolled my eyes waiting for her to tell me. She said. "My mansion in London hasn't sold yet so money is a little tight." I lend towards her and said. "Damn it Jude you could have asked to borrow money you know." She got this smile on her face and said. "Let me make it up to you how about you get us a fancy hotel for the next six weeks." So laughed and so did I but was she serious I wondered. I said. "Okay but I get to buy you a storage space and take over all your bills until your mansion gets sold." I knew Jude wouldn't go for that she was too independent and stubborn for her own good. Jude said. "Okay Quincy you have a deal." I was shocked did my Jude just agree to something reasonable.

Robbie asked Jude to dance. I was a little jealous I wanted to dance with her first. As they walked towards the dance floor Kristine took Jude's chair beside me. She said. "Tom we are all really glad you agreed so stay for the album." I smiled and thought that is nice of her to say. "Thanks I'm glad to be staying too." I said. Kristine said. "We have all been so worried about Jude and she was even worse in London."

"You were in London with Jude?" I asked shocked. She said. "Yeah she hated it the mansion was way too big and she hated everything about it but yet never wanted to go out." I thought wow I guess she didn't live the Rock Star life. Kristine continued saying. "I've never seen anyone cry as much as Jude has in the last eight months." I felt bad guilty but she left me. I knew I should've gone after her. "When we got to New York Robbie wanted to call you but I told him Jude had to." She said. I guess her heart was broken too. Kristine asked. "Is there a reunion in the works?" I wasn't sure what to say I still wanted Jude but I was going to have a hard time trusting her.

(Jude's point of View)

Robbie and I had just got done dancing we headed back to the table. I heard the DJ say. "In honor of Jude Harrison being here I am gonna play the famous basement song so here it is 2am." As the song started I got back up and asked Tommy to dance. We made our way to the dance floor. Tommy held me close as we swayed to the music. Tommy whispered. "Sing to me." I wanted to melt in his arms. I said. "Okay Tommy." I sung 2am softly into Tommy's ear. I could feel the tears in my eyes. I kept singing though it was really hard to. Tommy just held me closer. As the song ended I was sobbing. Tommy tried to soothe me but I ran off.

Robbie and Kristine had been dancing near us and I guess they saw me run off. Kristine followed me into the bathroom. I couldn't believe I ran off like that Tommy was the one who should've been upset. Kristine asked. "Are you okay?" I said. "Yeah my emotions just got the best of me out there." Two girls came into the bathroom. They both wanted autographs. I quickly signed and took pictures with them. I decided I should find Tommy. Kristine followed closely behind me. She was so use to seeing me fall apart but even she knew this time was different.

As soon as I opened the bathroom door I saw Tommy and Robbie standing there. Kristine grabbed Robbie and they went back to the dance floor. Tommy looked so worried. I said. "Quincy, I'm okay I promise." He shook his head and grabbed my hand pulling me to a near by exit. He said. "You're not okay and neither am I. I was shocked I wasn't sure what to say.

Tommy slowly grabbed my hands rubbing them gently. He lend in whispering. "We will never be okay without each other." I bit my lip not knowing what to say he was right. No matter how hard it had been to get together or to stay together we were worse apart. He lend in and kissed my softly on the lips. "Let's go drink and dance." He said. I said. "You think you can keep up Quincy." He chuckled and grabbed my hand pulling me back to our table. When we got back to our table I noticed Gina was sitting in my seat. Tommy cringed when he saw her. Gina was nice but a little too Tommy obsessed for my liking. Tommy asked. "Do you want my chair girl?" I said. "No sit down Quincy." He laughed and sat down. He looked shocked when I sat down in his lap. Gina asked. "Are you two back together?" I said. "Nope." Then I kissed Tommy passionately. We started making out finally we looked up and noticed that Gina had left. All four of us started cracking up.

The DJ played Little Moments by Brad Paisley. Tommy said. "This song reminds me of you." I laughed and asked. "Is that a good thing?" He said. "Of coarse it is." We got up and danced. Tommy looked down at his watch and frowned. He said. "Babe it's getting late maybe we should get home."

I said. "How about a few more drinks I haven't been out in eight months." He asked. "Why haven't you been out in eight months?" I said. "Well I went out my first night in London I drunk too much and woke up with some guy I didn't even remember meeting." I wanted to cry again as I admitted that to Tommy. Tommy didn't look disappointed just curious. He asked. "Why did you drink so much?" I said. "I already knew I had made a huge mistake and I just wanted to forget everything." He smiled sadly. He said. "I had a similar experience the first night you were gone." I asked. "Did it help?" He said. "Not at all." "Did it help you?" He asked. I said. "It definitely didn't help." We both laughed I got three more shots and downed them I was starting to feel them.

We told Robbie and Kristine goodnight and headed to the Mustang. After he opened the door for me I said. "Tommy thank you for staying here with me I'm sorry I left you there." He said. "Don't worry that's the past this is now." I nodded and smiled. Can we really start over? As we pulled up in front of the apartment Tommy said. "Tomorrow we are moving to a hotel." I laughed and said. "Okay Quincy whatever you want. He raised his eyebrow making me giggle. "Oh really?" He asked. I said. "Yeah you're completely in control of things." He laughed and asked. "Is that a good idea?" I said. "Yes it is you are so much more than you'll ever know."

Tommy leaned over and kissed me. Then he kissed my neck. We got out of the car and he pulled my legs around his waist. "Damn you look sexy tonight." He said. I said. "You always look sexy." He smirked and pulled me into my apartment. Our kissing got more intense.

He pulled me into my bedroom room. He laid me down on my bed. I giggled when he kissed down my collar bone. He pulled my dress over my head. I could tell he was enjoying my red lacy bra and thong. I unbuttoned his shirt and ran my hands down his chest. He pulled his shirt off. I unbuckled his pants and eased his zipper down. I could feel his hot breath on me. He kissed my neck again and then sat me up. He removed my bra and licked my nipples and then bit softly causing me to scream out. He smiled big and then kissed down my stomach. Then he licked back up and down my stomach.

He got to my thong and pulled it down so slow. He took his hand down rubbing my clit and wetness softly. I moaned. I pulled him to me kissing him hard. I licked his earlobe. Then I pulled his boxers off.

There are a lot of things in this world I could forget but Tom Quincy's manhood wasn't one of them. I put him into my hand laughing when I heard him moaning. I kept going for a few minutes until he put his hand on top of mine to stop me.

He entered me as soft and slow as he had the first time we made love. He slipped in and out of me. We both moaned at the same time. He started to go faster and deeper. I started getting tighter. He said. "Oh fuck." I knew he was close and I wasn't far behind. He reached down and rubbed my clit and kissed me hard. We both started cumming.

Afterwards Tom stayed inside me kissing me softly. Then he gently pulled out and went over to my closet. He got a towel out of my laundry basket. He cleaned us both up and then laid down next to me. He pulled me close and held me tight.

(Tommy's point of view)

I can't ever remember waking up this happy. I have a beautiful blond in the bed next to me. How did I get so damn lucky? I wish I would have told her I loved her last night. But I didn't want her to feel pressured to say it back. I decided to go take a shower and let Jude sleep. I wonder if I should wake her up when I get out. Man she sleeps so deep and over the years she has beat the hell out of me when I have tried to wake her up.

I got out of the shower and went back to Jude's room. I had to smile when I saw Jude naked holding her notebook writing. When she heard me she turned around. "Morning Quincy." She said with a big smile. I said. "Good morning Big Eyes." I leaned over and kissed her. "Are you writing a new song?" I asked. She said. "Yeah I got inspired." I said. "But I thought you couldn't write anything worth listening to." She said. "I couldn't but now you're here." I smiled wow I really am her muse. Finally I asked. "Are we back together?" She laughed and said. "Yes we are if you want us to be." I said. "I do." She said. "But let's not tell anyone yet I have a plan." I said. "Sounds good to me."

Was it this simple us getting back together. Well not simple but easier than everything in the past had been. I was still scared that she would change her mind about us again. I guess that is another reason I didn't tell her I love her last night. I called Jamie this morning he was fine with me staying. Though he wants me to talk Jude into signing with NBR.

Jude was still writing when it was time to leave for the studio. She kissed me and went to pack a bag for the hotel. I still had my bag packed but I was going to have to go shopping since I only brought five days worth of clothes.

I said. "Jude it's time to get going." She ran around looking for her other shoe as my cell rung. Jude turned around. I said. "It's Sadie calling." She said. "Oh shit I forgot to turn my cell back on." I knew Jamie had told Kwest and Sadie that I was staying to help Jude with the album. I wondered what Jude would tell Sadie.


	6. Chapter 6

Losing my Muse

Ch. 6

(Jude's point of view)

When Tommy told me Sadie was calling I got really nervous. Could I really lie to Sadie? I heard him. "Hey Sadie." I could hear my sister yelling. "Damn it Quincy put my sister on the phone." He laughed and handed me the phone. Great she is getting ready to ask a ton of questions. "Hi Sadie!" I tried to sound causal. "Don't you hi Sadie me." "What's wrong Sades?" "What's wrong?" "Well it seems you and Tommy got back together and you didn't even have time to pick up the phone and tell me." What was I going to say?

I looked over at Tommy and asked. "Should I tell Sadie?" He shook his head no. I smiled wow is he great. "Sadie I have no idea what you're talking about." "So I guess it's just sex then." I coughed almost choking. "What the hell are you talking about?" "Jude, you and Tommy are in the newspaper looks like you were clubbing." I groaned and asked. "What does the headline say?"

I noticed a Tommy frowning he must have realized we made the paper. Sadie said the headline is kind of cute. "It says Tommy and Jude back to making music and maybe more together." It was kind of cute but I didn't want my planned ruined. I noticed Tommy had left I knew he had probably went to the corner to but a few newspapers. "So are you back together?" I said. "I'll let you know soon." I could hear her grinding her teeth. "Fine then tell Tommy I said hi and I'll talk to you soon." "Bye Sades I love you." "Love you too Jude bye."

I was nosy and started going through Tommy's phone after I hung up. I looked through his contacts one was really strange it said Mrs. Quincy. I was too curious so I hit send. When my voicemail picked up all I could think was how sweet is that. Tommy had me as Mrs. Quincy my plan would work.

Tommy came in scaring me I dropped his phone. "Sorry girl I didn't mean to scare you." "You didn't scare me Quincy." He laughed. We went over the headlines while we ate breakfast. We talked about how the press would help album sales. Our favorite headline was _Jude Harrison gets her groove back_. He asked about how the new song was doing. I laughed it's going great and you can read it when it is finished. He frowned at me.

We got dressed and headed for work. When we got to work I ran into Kristine. She was prying for details about after we had left the club but I didn't tell her anything either. Kristine told me I had two fittings tomorrow for my concert next week. I finally made my way to studio B. "Harrison I drive you ass here and you're still late." "Quincy something's never change." We both laugh and I headed into the booth.

(Tommy's point of View)

Damn this is strange. Jude and I are finally back in the studio together. It feels the same as always all of are passion and love goes into our music. As Jude begins recording 24 Hours I can still see her fiery red hair and that attitude. But even then I loved her. She finishes recording. "Jude girl you killed it." She smiles big at me. I knew she wanted to start out with songs she hadn't written about us. I couldn't blame her I knew we were going to have some emotionally straining days in the studio to come and her concert next week.

I have to say I am getting nervous I am doing back vocals on Anyone but you. I haven't sung at all in over a year. Jude seems excited that I am seeing with her so I figure even if I suck she'll be happy. I can always adjust my voice if it's really bad. I am trying to calm my nerves I start mixing and Jude records a few more times.

Jude comes in while I am mixing. She is so quite very unlike her. Usually Jude has an opinion her everything. I hope nothing is wrong. Robbie tells us all that it's time to break for lunch. Jude's back up band runs out of the studio like four year olds. It is freaky how much they are like SME. "Jude, where to want to eat?" I ask. She didn't answer me. I called her name a few times. Finally she must have heard me. "Huh oh yeah food I don't care Quincy."

(Jude's point of view)

Oh great I totally zoned out on Tommy. He looks so worried. I didn't mean to worry him I have just been thinking about everything we've been through. I know what I really want now. Will Tommy be ready? I guess I still have six weeks to decide.

When we got to the restaurant I noticed Tommy was starring at me. "Quincy, I'm okay really I was just thinking." I promised him. "What were you thinking about?" "I was just thinking about us and everything we've been through." We laughed. "After everything we finally get together and I run." He smiles. "Yeah talk about your role reversals." I bit my lip. He has always hurt me in the past and he was always the one to apologize. It was easier that way.

"We have a second chance to be completely honest even if it hurts." Tommy said with a sad smile. "Sounds like a good idea to me we'll be honest." I said. "Okay so tell me why you ran?" He asked. I swallowed trying not to cry. "I ran because I was scared and I felt like I need to find myself on my own." I couldn't tell if my answered bothered him or not. "Do you still fell like running?" I smiled brightly. "Only, if I get to run away with you."

(Tommy's point of view)

After lunch I noticed Jude seemed a lot better. I guess our talk helped her as much as it had me. I need to hear she wouldn't run. I think she needed to say it too. Now it's my turn to trust her to not hurt me.

When we got back into the studio I headed to the microphone and stood beside Jude. "Are you nervous?" My hands were shaking and I was sweating I guess she had noticed. "A little I guess." She laughed and kissed my cheek.

Robbie started the music. Jude and I began singing. My nervousness disappeared as Jude looked at me. Her smile melted away all the fear. I got more into the song. She laughed a little. When we finished our 10th take Robbie played it back. I was surprised we sounded so good together. My voice has never sounded as good as this.

We finished mixing and had the first two songs done. I was surprised we got done so quickly. Jude was working on her new song. At midnight we decided we would break for the night. Andrew and Shane would review the songs then get back to us on any changes we needed to make.

Jude and I got checked in at the Ritz-Carlton Central Park. After we got checked in we ordered room service I got on my lab top and Jude wrote more on her new song. I noticed her scratched out stuff and even wrote it over again. I guess she just wanted to get it right. I wanted to read it so bad but I knew she would let me when she's ready. I saw her head towards me yawning. "Bed time baby?" She asked. "Yeah girl we better get to sleep."

I took off my shirt and pants and climbed into the huge king size bed. I was almost asleep when Jude came out. She was wearing a tank top and a pink lacey thong. I know we need sleep but damn it's hard to going to sleep with a girl that looks like that. She gets into bed and I pull her close to me we kiss and I watch as she drifts off to sleep. I close my eyes too.

(One week later)

(Jude's point of view)

This week has been so busy. Tommy and I have both been exhausted. We got Your Eyes and The Breakdown recorded. Only 11 songs left. That's including my new song.

Tonight is my first performance in months. I am anxious Tommy keeps reassuring me. I feel bad because I haven't had much time for Tommy in the past week.

Tommy had already ordered breakfast. I was surprised we haven't had any issues with the press in the past week. But instead of obsessing over it I just let it go. Tommy has really been a lifesaver. We have been working so fast and hard but he just takes it in strides.

After breakfast I headed for my shower. "Hey big eyes." I turn around and giggle as Tommy joins me in the shower. He grabs a sponge and soaps up my body. "Oh Tommy." I moan out. He laughs and begins kissing my neck and then my chest and then lower.

(Tommy's point of view)

After our shower Jude and I hurry to get dressed. I can tell how nervous she is about tonight. I try my best to keep her calm. She told me last night that she was booed off stage in London. I just couldn't imagine anyone not loving Jude. She looks and sounds like an angel.

(10 hours later)

I just finished checking all the sound equipment again. I decided to check in on Jude. I look around her dressing room where is she? "Jude? Jude? Where are you?" I yelled. She walks out of the bathroom wearing a beautiful white dress, her hair up in curls. I notice she's as white as her dress I knew the nerves must be getting to her. I walked over and kissed her. "Your gonna do great girl." She smiles a little. "Thanks for the flowers they're perfect Quincy." I chuckle. "Your welcome well they're alright but perfect that would be you." She blushes. I love that I can make her blush like that. The stage manager says. "10 minutes Miss Harrison." She smiles and says. "It's Jude, thank you." "Okay girl take a deep breath you'll do great and if you get too nervous just sing to me I'll be to your left."

(Jude's Point of View)

I haven't felt this nervous since I won Instant Star. I guess after everything I have a right to be nervous. I open the show with 24 hours then Your Eyes and then it was time to sing White Lines before I get a break. I stumbled a little on White Lines but no one seems to have noticed.

I ran backstage and hurried to change. Kristine was helping me. Three more songs I kept telling myself. Of coarse they are three songs I wrote about Tommy and myself but it will be okay. "Jude it's time." Kristine says.

I walked back on stage. I sung Don't you Dare and then Deeper. I got back close to the microphone. "Before my last song tonight I just wanted to thank everyone and tell you that my great hits album will be released shortly. I am also adding a new song. My New song will have adult content but it is just showing a older and new side to me. The title of my new song is I'll be whatever you need. So for now thank you all for being here and here is the famous basement song 2 am."

I started singing trying to not look at Tommy because I was afraid I might cry. But when I did look at him he was smiling. I held it together and finished the song. I ran to my dressing room after the last note. All I could think about was the night before I left for London. I messed up so badly. Why didn't I just follow my heart instead of my head?

(Tommy's point of view)

Jude did so well I had no doubt she would. I couldn't help but be even more curious as she described her new song. I really hope she'll let me read it soon. Robbie has gotten to read it. She and even let Kristine who then avoided me for the rest of the day.

When she began singing 2 am I knew it was hard for her and she was remembering the same thing I was. The night before she left for London was hard the hardest night of my life. When she ran off stage I wasn't sure if I should go after her.

When I entered her dressing room I saw her sitting on the floor sobbing. I picked her up and pulled her into my arms. "Jude, baby the past happened we can't change it but we can make our future better." She smiled through her tears. I helped her change back into her regular clothes. I hate seeing her so upset especially over me. When she left I leave imagined how badly she was hurting too.

I need to tell Jude how much I love her. She needs to understand that I need her. I should have never let her walk away. But I learned my lesson Jude and I are really meant to be. We will make it this time we have to.


	7. Chapter 7

Losing my Muse

Ch. 7

Author's Note: There is bad language and sexual content mainly from the song I wrote.

Thank you,

Cindy

(Week 2 Monday morning)

(Jude point of view)

The weekend ended too fast for my liking. After the concert I finally got some quality Tommy time. We went for a walk and had a picnic in the park. We made love until late last night. But then Monday had to come and ruin all our fun. We had to be at the studio and 8 am what the hell. And I knew we would probably be here all night.

We are working on Time to be your 21. Tommy left to set up studio B for us. Today it's just Tommy and I in the studio. Robbie is working with another artist. Though I really like Robbie it's kind of nice it's just us.

Tommy says. "Jude, it's time are you ready?" "Aren't I always?" As I sing I notice how hard Tommy is starring. I guess this song brings back a lot of memories for him too. I mean my 16th was a hell of a night.

The song does bring up another what if in my mind. I can't help but have what if's with Tommy. Like what if he didn't make me say the kiss didn't happen on my 16th? Where would we be now? Would we still be together? Would I have ever left him? I guess it is just one what if in many I have about us.

It's almost mid-night when we get back to the hotel. We are beyond exhausted and my throat is killing me. "Is your throat hurting?" Tommy asked. I guess he noticed I was trying to not talk or talk softly. I nodded and took a drink of water. Tommy called room service and got them to send some hot tea up.

After I got done with the tea Tommy ran a hot bubble bath for us to relax in. He did most of the talking for once. He told me about these weekly dinners that Sadie and Kwest hosted. Tommy, Jamie, Zep, Karma, Sped, Kyle and Wally would all go. I wondered why my sister never mentioned the dinners. I guess she didn't want me to be anymore home sick then I already was.

Around noon the next day I heard Tommy's phone ringing. We were both still asleep. Since my throat was still bothering me Andrew and Shane suggested I take the day off. I hated thinking about making up the time but I knew I needed to rest my voice. "Tommy, Tom, Quincy." I whispered. "What?" He asked rubbing his eyes. "Your phone, Quincy."

(Tommy's point of view)

"Sorry girl go back to sleep." I grabbed my phone and headed to the bathroom so Jude could go back to sleep. "Hello Quincy speaking." "Tom, hey man." "Hey Kwest." "So man how's everything?" "Everything is good though Jude has a sore throat but we are good." "We huh?" he asked. "Did you and Jude get back together?" "Maybe, did Sadie tell you to call and ask me?" "Nope I was just curious." "I bet." "So Kwest how's NBR everything okay?" "Dude it's good but busy." "You've been spending too much time with Speid." I said with a laugh. "So are you planning to propose soon?" "Are you?" He spits back. I laugh and say. "You never know maybe." "So man I guess I'll be seeing you at Jude's release party?" "I'll be there Kwest." "Well Sadie's calling take care of your girl." "You too man bye." "Bye Tom."

I saw Jude standing in front of me. "How much did you hear?" She just shruggeds. "Girl has the throat?" I ask. "It still hurts." "How about we get a doctor to take a look okay?" She rolls her eyes. "I guess we could." I call and set Jude up an appointment.

(2 days later Jude's point of view)

I finished up recording Liar, Liar. The medicine the doctor gave me as really helped. I feel much better. Tommy and I actually got caught back up. On the way home we picked up some Chinese and then headed back to the hotel.

We were both starving by the time we ate. I ate way too much. Tommy watches as I unbutton my pants. He starts laughing at me. "Quincy don't laugh I ate too much okay?" I scolded him. "Girl I have never seen you eat that much." I roll my eyes. He kisses me hands me my tea and medicine.

In the middle of the night I start feeling sick. Damn I knew I ate too much. Tommy must have noticed I was stirring, "Girl you okay?" I couldn't answer him I ran straight to the bathroom. Tommy came in held my hair and rubbed my back with his other hand. "Be glad you didn't eat the shrimp." I said. Great now I have food poisoning,

I didn't want to miss anymore work so we headed in. I was still sick and pale. Food poisoning is the worst kind of sick. I couldn't get through the first verse of Don't you Dare.

Finally I stopped getting sick. I stood in front of the glass and remembered when I sung Don't you Dare for the first time. I loved that church it was small and old but prefect. Tommy said. "That day in the church was prefect," "Stop reading my mind Quincy." "I wasn't I was just thinking the same thing girl."

(Tommy's point of View)

If there is one thing in this world I hate to see its Jude sick. First it was her throat which is still recovering and now food poisoning. She's so amazing though she still is singing her heart out.

We divided the weekend spending part mixing the other part touring New York. The tours were kind of fun. I never got to do anything like that when I was on tour. Of coarse I would never tell Jude I was having a good time.

Jude and I were laying in bed and I decided to bring up the future. "So Harrison what are your plans after the release party?" "Well Quincy I am working on those right now." "Am I involved?" I couldn't help but ask her. "Maybe you are." I rolled my eyes at her non-answer.

(The next day (Sunday))

I decided to call Sadie I knew it was time for our weekly dinner. "Hey Tommy." "Hi Sadie how's everything going?" She laughed. "I just got off the phone with my sister." "Oh you talk to Jude she didn't say she was calling." "Jude always calls me on Sundays now she knows what time to call and get to talk to everyone." "So did Jude tell you anything interesting?" I ask. "Like what?" "I don't know Sadie." "Not really she said you had her move into a hotel and that you were working closely." "About the hotel trust me Sadie that neighborhood was bad I was afraid she might get mugged." "I agree Tom." "Jamie said the neighborhood was worse than the rehearsal spaces." "So Sadie how's NBR, Kwest, and everyone?" "Everything's fine same as when you talk to Kwest." "Now what's up Tom?" "I was just checking in." "Is that all." "Well how's your dad?" "Good he might be coming home soon and he is going to try and come to Jude's release party." "That great Jude will be thrilled." "Yeah she will be." Sadie agreed. "So uh Sades I need a favor?" "Whatcha need Quincy?" "Can you have your dad call me?" "Is this about Jude?" "Kind of just please ask him okay Sadie." "Alright well I have to get everyone dessert, take care of my baby sister." "I will Sadie bye." "Bye Tom."

Jude came in and sat down beside me. "Hey girl, have you been busy?" "Not really called Sadie and got to say hi to everyone." "That's good they have all really missed you girl." "I've missed them too." "It looks like everyone will get to come to the release party." She says. "That's good the extra support can't hurt." "I am worried about my dad hearing my new song."

(Week 3 Tommy's point of view)

Okay so everyone knows Jude hates mornings but I do too. I'm not nearly as cranky as Jude. Though I really do need some coffee as soon as a wake up. This weeks has been beyond busy. We recorded White Lines yesterday. Jude has a new arrangement but it really worked.

When I got ready to leave the studio I noticed a note for me. I was shocked when I realized it was the first two lines to her song. It was a pretty sexual song. When I read _my fingers are inside me. I feel them but they aren't you_. Damn she wasn't kidding about adult content.

After lunch she started singing Deeper. All of a sudden I can't help but think how sexual this song sounds. My pants begin to feel tighter listening to her sing. Not to sound too much like a guy but I really want to grab Jude and fuck her right here and now. Oh god she just licked her lips like the first line of her new song.

Okay I am feeling like a teenager again. I have sex on the brain. Everything she does is making me hornier by the second. I am so glad we are almost done with Deeper. Tonight will definitely be getting out of here early. I need some Jude time.

(Jude's point of view)

I noticed Tommy's eyes today. They were full of lust completely clouded over my new song is getting to him already. As much as I like it when he's romantic sometimes his passion is even better.

Tommy's on the phone I decided not to interrupt it looks important. While I wait for Tommy to get done with his call I decide to call Jamie. "Hey Jamie." "Hi Jude how's everything going?" "Everything's good seven songs down eight to go." "Wow you are getting done fast." "Yeah well we only have three weeks until my release party." "So have you thought about my offer to sign with NBR?" "Yeah and if your willing to give me a very flexible schedule then we can sign the papers at my release party." "Jude, are you serious?" "Yeah Jamie its time for me to come home." "So you and Tommy?" "You'll find out at my release party." "Okay well do you want him co-producing with you when you get home?" "Hell yeah but don't tell him yet." "Okay Jude, I can't wait for you to come home I missed you." "I missed you too Jamie." "Here comes Tommy got to go bye." "Bye Jude."

"Girl who were you talking to?" "Jamie what about you?" "I can't tell you it's a surprise." "Quincy, I hate surprises." "No you don't you love them you hate waiting for them." I laughed he knows me so well.

(A few days later Tommy's point of view)

Last night I noticed Jude putting posts inside the dresser drawers. When I opened them I noticed it was more of her song. I nearly fell over as I read _I'll be your whore get wet just hearing your voice. _She was right her dad wasn't going to like this song. Damn where did my innocent little 15 year old go. I guess she has turned into my almost 20 year old sex addict not that I am disappoint cause I'm not.

I still haven't been able to tell Jude I still love her. I don't want to push her. We finished mixing Prefect yesterday and we've got today off. I decided to romance my girl and who knows maybe I'll tell her today.

(Jude's point of view)

Since we had the day off we slept in. When I finally woke up Tommy order us brunch. We ate in bed. When we heard a knock at the door Tommy told me to get it. I went to the door and a guy had a dozen roses. I read the card _To: My Girl, This is our new beginning. I promise to give you the best day we've ever had. Always Your, Tommy. _Awww, he is so sweet I do wish he would have signed the card love. I have been wanting to tell him I still love him but I'm nervous. What if he isn't ready for that?

Today has already been a great day and Tommy says this isn't even half of what he has planned. I ran and took a quick shower. Tommy told me to dress warm but wouldn't tell me why. All I can guess is we will be outside. It's in the 30's so I layer and put on my big coat.

"Okay Harrison you ready for a day in Central Park." I giggle. "Quincy, I am always ready." Tommy takes me hand and leads me to the zoo. "We're going to the zoo?" I am excited I love animals and Tommy knows how much I love the zoo at home. "Yeah girl we are getting a private tour." "Wow Tommy thank you this is great." I say and kiss him softly.

The tour was so great they let us get really close and even feed some of the animals. After we left the zoo we went to the Boathouse restaurant for a quick snack. We watched the boats and even feed the ducks.

Then Tommy went and rented us skates. We went to Wollman Rink and skated. Tommy was a little unsteady but he stayed up the whole time. We held hands and skated together and after that Tommy got us hot chocolate.

Then we headed to a very special place. We went to Strawberry Fields. Which is not only famous because of John Lennon but Tommy had his most embarrassing moment there. He took me to the exact spot where he woke up naked.

After Strawberry Fields we headed back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. I found a dress bag on the bed. A note on top said "wear me." I laughed and opened it revealing a beautiful short black cocktail dress. Then I noticed a shoe box I opened it revealing black sued heels. I did my hair and then my make-up. I heard the door opening.

(Tommy's point of View)

I knew our day in Central Park was a good idea. Jude had so much fun and to be honest so did I. I had a even more special evening planned. Kristine had went and brought Jude a dress and shoes for tonight. I ran downstairs and gave Robbie and Kristine my key card.

I took Jude to one of my favorite Italian restaurants. I loved Café Fiorello and I got us a private table. I ordered the Langhe wine. Jude watched me as I smelt the wine first and then sipped it. I said, "To us." Jude smiled. "To us." She gentle clanked her glass against mine. She smiled and followed my actions. The waiter asked. "Are you ready to order?" "Ladies first." "Um okay I'll take the Lemon Chicken, lentil salad. And the grilled Portobello mushrooms." "And for the gentleman." "I'll have the Veal Chops alla Griglia and also the lentil salad and Portobello mushrooms." The waiter said "Very good your food will be out shortly."

Jude looked around the restaurant. "This is my favorite restaurant in the states so I had to bring my favorite girl here." Jude smiled. "Tommy this place is amazing this day has been like something out of a fairytale." "Jude when I told you I would do anything for you I meant it." "You deserve the world girl." I noticed she had tears in her eyes. I was about to tell her I love her when the waiter brought out food.

(Jude's point of view)

I don't know why but I am suddenly nervous. This is Tommy what is wrong with me. I was shaking and sweating. "Jude?" "Huh?" "Is your food okay?" "Yeah the food is wonderful I guess I'm just not very hungry." We sit in silence I finally start to eat some. After we finish dessert Tommy pays the check and we leave.

(Tommy's point of view)

Okay deep breath Quincy I tell myself. We are in the elevator. I am hoping Robbie and Kristine got everything set up. I am getting really nervous and fun enough Jude looks nervous too. Is she reading my mind?

We get to out room. "Close your eyes." I whisper into Jude's ear. I open the door and pull Jude in. "Okay girl open your big beautiful blue eyes." "Wow Tommy this is beautiful." "Yeah well I had some help." I hit play on the remote to the CD player. I look around at the candles that are lit and the rose petals. Man I owe Robbie and Kristine big time. As Stop This World by Ne-Yo plays I ask Jude to dance.

I wrap my arms around her waist and lean in and kiss her. Then she kisses me more passionately back. I look into her eyes. Now is the time. "The day you came into my life god sent me an Angel." I whisper to her. She smiles and kisses me again. I look deep into her eyes. "Jude, I love you." She has tears in her eyes I hope they are tears of joy.

(Jude's point of view)

Tommy brought me into our room. When I opened my eyes there were candles and rose petals surrounding the room. The I heard Stop This World playing. It is one of my favorite songs. As we dance we kiss a little.

He called me his Angel sent from god. He is just to good to be true. Did he just say he loves me? "Tommy, I love you too, I never stopped." We start kissing again. We head towards the bed kissing the whole time. We make love all night long. Before I close me eyes I say. "Tom Quincy I love you." He chuckles and says. "I love you too night Big Eyes."

(Week 4 Tommy's point of view)

Last night was the best night of my life. Jude and I both let our guards down. I told her I still lover her. And she said it back to me and said she never stopped. She really still loves me too.

Jude and I headed for the studio. I can't help but wonder what now? I mean us declaring our love for each other at the same time is huge. But what's next? As Jude sings Love to Burn I can't help but remember when I wrote it. It was my way of saying how much I love her without saying it.

I wonder sometimes, what if Hunter didn't show up at her party? Or what if I was honest with Jude about Hunter from the beginning? Or what if Sadie wouldn't have kissed me? Jude finished singing she is just starring at me like she's trying to read my mind. I guess I zoned out. Robbie asks. "Man, are you okay?" "Yeah I'm fine." "Jude that was great." I said noticing her worried expression. "Quincy, you okay?" "Yeah everything great." We finish mixing and get the mix ready for I Still Love You.

(Jude's point of view)

So I noticed Tommy totally zoning out as I sung. I wondered what he was thinking about. I remember the first time he sung Love to Burn for me. I can't help but wish Tommy would have told me about Hunter. Who knows where we would be I guess it's just another what if in our relationship.

Tommy and I got back to the hotel and were ready to crash. "Night Babe I love you." "Night girl I love you too." Morning always comes too soon. Of coarse I like morning a lot more with Tommy waking me up with a kiss. We hurry and eat breakfast and then rush off to the studio.

I have another concert tonight so I run to find an outfit because Shane wants me to wear something different than the last concert. Kristine had already pulled a bunch of outfits. "So how was your special night with Tommy the other night?" "Incredible and the dress and shoes were prefect thank you." "So did Tommy tell you anything?" She pries. "Yes he told me he still loves me." "What did you say?" "I told him I still love him too and I never stopped." Kristine hugs me and says. "Jommy's back together." "Oh no Kristine not a couple nickname." "Hey I didn't give it to you the press did." We both start laughing. I tell her my plan for my release party.

(Later that night Tommy's point of view)

I am glad Jude is calmer for this concert because I am a nervous wreck. Jude decided I should play piano on Don't you Dare and Love to Burn. I also am singing back up on Anyone but you. I guess I got stage fright back I need to get over it though. My girl needs me to be at my best.

As Jude sings prefect I decide to get a drink or two to calm my nerves. I grab another. I hear prefect end I head towards the stage. "And now to accompany me on piano is Tom Quincy." Okay don't be nervous I start playing the familiar music of Don't You Dare. Jude turns an smiles at me and then turns aback to the audience. "So everyone this next song was actually wrote by Tom so here is Love to Burn.

As I am playing Love to Burn I see Jude come and sit beside me. She sings and then says. "Quincy you know the words." The crowd is chatting my name. I start singing and then Jude joins in sending the crowd into a loud roar. Jude looks so happy I have seen her on stage a lot but never like this. She is glowing. When the last note is played Jude whispers. "I love you." I whisper back. "I love you more."

We took a short break this time both Jude and I got a few drinks. When we headed back on stage we ere both feeling pretty good. We sing the hell out of Anyone but you. Jude says. "Thank you Tom and my band RTE." "Thank you and good night New York."

We all run of the stage. Jude jumps into my arms. I lean down and kiss her. "Great show Harrison." "Same to you Quincy."

(Jude's point of view)

After the show I noticed the Tommy and I had both gotten pretty toasted. We had a few more drinks before Robbie and Kristine put us in a cab. We started singing Take my breath Away together and then started making out. Tommy's hand was under my shirt when the cab driver cleared his throat. We noticed we were back at the hotel. The doorman helped us to the elevator.

"Tommy why hasn't the press bothered us?" I asked suddenly so interested. He laughed. "I rented out the whole floor and got us extra security." My mouth dropped open. "No way you didn't?" "Harrison I got the money plus look we already have the rooms for you release party." "Oh Quincy you always take care of me." "Forever." "Forever and Always." I say back to him. We both laugh.

After we stumbled to the couch we start talking about the past. Of coarse it is a little confusing since we are both fairly drunk. "Tommy do you ever wonder what would have happen if you wouldn't have made me say the kiss on my 16th never happened? He says. "Sometimes but I am sure I would have lost my job and not be able to see you anymore." "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you did kiss me on my 17th?" He smirks and says. "I can guess but you would have felt guilty about it." "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you didn't leave me on our first date." "All the time."

(Tommy's point of View)

I have no idea why or how what ifs even came up but I figured I had a few too. "Earlier today I was thinking what if I had told you about Hunter?" "Or my sister didn't kiss you?" "Or if my mom didn't get worse again?" "Of if I didn't show up in New Brunswick after you asked me not to?" "Or if I didn't go to London?" "Or if you came home when they dropped you?"

I got really close to Jude. I held her face in my hands and said. "Maybe we wouldn't be here together in a real and honest relationship." "Yeah probably not." She said. We start kissing and end up making love. Before I fall asleep I promise myself one thing no more what ifs.

(The next morning Jude's point of view)

Last night was awesome. The concert turned out even better than I hoped. Then Tommy and I had such a true and honest talk about the issues we have had. I did decided one thing no more what ifs. I am going ahead with my plan I do believe we are both ready.

I hear a knock at the door. It can't be room service because Tommy's still asleep. In less he called them earlier. I slowly get up and put my robe on. I open the door to see Speid and Karma. "Surprise." They say together.


	8. Chapter 8

Losing my Muse

Ch. 8

Author Note: I don't owe Instant Star or any of the songs except I'll be whatever you need.

Thank you,

Cindy

(Jude's point of view)

When I opened the door and saw Speid and Karma I was shocked. I mean it was good to see Speid he is one of my best friends. Karma and I have never really gotten along. I suddenly wondered if Tommy knew they were coming. No, he probably didn't he would have mentioned it.

I stood there starring at them. "Hey dude, Jude hello you okay?" Speid asked waving his hand in front of my face. Finally I hugged him. "Oh Speid it's great to see you I'm just shocked that's all." Speid laughed. "Well dude Jamie booked us a few pre-tour shows." "That's great where at?" "Here in New York." Karma finally spoke up asking. "Can we come in?" I noticed we were still in the doorway. "Uh, um yeah sure." I hoped Tommy wouldn't get up or they wouldn't notice him in the bed in the next room.

Holding hands Speid and Karma followed me into our sitting room. We sat down on the couch. Karma said. "So I hear this new song of your is extremely sexual." "Yeah just a little bit." I said laughing. Karma said with a giggle. "I am going to assume our Producer insipid it." "And why would you say that?" I asked innocently. She laughed and pointed to the other room where Tommy was in bed still. Speid shot us both a confused look. Karma laughed at her husband as Tommy entered the room in his boxers. His mouth dropped open when he saw Speid and Karma. I couldn't help but laugh.

(Tommy's point of view)

I woke up and noticed Jude wasn't in bed. I heard talking and assumed it was room service. I grabbed my boxers and headed for the connecting room. When I walked over to Jude I saw Speid and Karma sitting on the couch. What the hell were they doing here? Did Jude know they were coming and forgot to tell me? Oh well two less people we have to tell about us.

Speid and Karma had become good friends to me since Jude left. The three of us actually got along pretty well plus being around Speid helped me not miss Jude as much. They had helped me through the hard parts especially right after she left.

"Hi Speid, Karma it's good to see you." "Nice to see you too dude." "I would hug you but Jude might hit me." Karma said laughing. Jude rolled her eyes. I hugged them and kissed Jude before going and getting dressed.

When I came back all three were laughing. Jude said. "Damn, Tommy I know it was a rough eight months but a prostitute." I sighed damn I knew they would tell her that story first. "I told you I had a hard night after you left." "Yeah but you never mentioned Speid and Karma baling you out of jail." They all three started laughing again.

We got pizza and all sat around talking. Jude and Karma were actually getting along. I guess when Jude heard how supportive that had both been she eased up on Karma. Speid and I were talking about his newest song. "So how's the album almost done?" I asked. "Yeah Quincy Kwest works a hell of a lot faster than you do." "Well I miss your perfectionism." Karma said giggling. Jude smiled and said. "You should see him with 15 songs and only five weeks." "I'm not that bad." I said trying to defend myself. All three started laughing at me again. I noticed Karma and Jude whispering and giggling. "Anything you two want to share with us?" I asked with my eyebrows raised. "Jude was just telling me about her new song." I frowned I still hadn't heard the whole song.

(Jude's point of view)

After dinner we all sat around telling stories of each other. Karma is actually not that bad. It was nice to have some female bonding. Usually Kristine is the only one I get to girl talk with. I showed Karma my lyrics for my new song. I laughed when I saw her eyes get wide. Karma asked about my inspiration and I told her about that night with Tommy. We talked about her and Speid's tour and how she was happy they were touring together because she hated to be away from him. I had to smile at her talking about how much she loved Speid.

Tommy told Speid and Karma they could take any room on the floor. We were all getting tired. They left to go get settled in. Tommy and I got ready for bed. "I love you Quincy." "I love you too girl night." "Good night." I said yawning.

I kept hearing a banging sound. Damn, I'm so tired what the hell was that? "Oh. Speidy harder, harder." I heard bang. I suddenly knew exactly what that sound was. Tommy sat straight up in the bed. His eyes were wide open. "Karma oh god." Tommy and I starred at each other in horror. I couldn't believe with all the rooms they took the one next to our bedroom wall. Finally they stopped. Tommy just looked at me. I knew he was happy they stopped but we still wouldn't be able to sleep.

(Two days later.) (Tommy's point of View)

After two nights of hearing Speid and Karma getting it on, Jude and I are both exhausted. We both have to sing today too. I guess because of the last time we sung (Here we go Again) we were both a nervous wreck. Jude couldn't even eat breakfast.

Speid and Karma decided to come and watch us making us both even more nervous. Robbie started the music for us. Jude took a deep breath in and got ready to start singing. She started the first verse then I sung before we sung together. After the fourth take we both had started to relax. I looked into Jude's eyes as we sung. After the sixth take we went to listen to the play back.

Karma was smiling at us. Speid said. "Wow that was awesome dudes." Jude and I both laughed and bowed. Karma and Jude huddled in the corner whispering to each other. Speid and I just laughed at them watching them start to giggle.

(The next night.) (Jude's point of view)

Today we put the finishing touches on (Here we go Again). I have to admit I was really nervous about us singing that song together but it turned out to be a positive thing. We both got to let go of the past a little more. I think we are both learning its okay to remember the past just not to live in it.

Tommy and I sat in our room eating. It was only 4 pm. "I'm tired." I said yawning. Tommy laughed. "Me too maybe we should try to sleep while Speid and Karma are gone." I said with a giggle. "Good idea and then tonight we'll give them a show." Tommy and I headed to the bed both falling asleep quickly.

(Later that night)

I woke up when I heard the door next door slam. I woke Tommy up. "Showtime Quincy." He laughed and grabbed me. We started kissing. He reached down rubbing my thigh. I started moaning. Tommy kissed my neck and then pulled me into a passionate kiss. He slowly drug his hand into my wetness. I yelped out. "Oh Tommy don't stop." I leaned down and grabbed him through his boxers. I felt Tommy getting harder. He bit my neck. I yelped out again. He chuckled and took off his boxers. He entered me rough and quickly. We were both already so close. He started pounding in and out of me. I yelled out. "Oh god, Tommy don't stop." He kept going at the same fast pace. He rubbed my nipple and then pulled me towards him. He caused us both to cum screaming each other's names.

We both started laughing when we heard Karma screaming. "Thank god they're done." After a few minutes we heard them yelling at each other. Tommy and I couldn't tell what they were saying. As the yelling stopped Tommy pulled me closer and kissed me. Then we heard a knock. I pulled my robe on and Tommy grabbed his pants pulling them on.

I opened the door to a crying Karma. She rushed into my arms. As I hugged her I thought could thing get any stranger than this. She was so upset. Tommy stood next to us not sure what to do. He went and put on his shirt. Karma just kept crying. Finally I got Tommy to help me get her to the couch. I said. "Tommy take care of her for a second." He nodded and hugged her trying to calm her down. I tried to hurry and get dressed.

Karma finally calmed down a little. "I can't believe I married that idiot." She said. Tommy looked so uncomfortable. "What did Speid do?" I asked. "I told him something a little shocking but he didn't have to be so mean." Tommy and I starred at each other. "What did you tell him?" I asked. She started crying again and said. "I'm pregnant." Tommy and I both gasped in shock.

"Congratulations Karma." Tommy said. "Thanks Tommy." "What did Speid say?" I asked knowing it wasn't good. "He asked if the baby was his." Karma began crying again. I looked over at Tommy confused he shrugged at me not knowing what was going on either. Why would Speid ask if the baby was his? I wondered to myself.

There was a knock at the door. Tommy stood up heading towards the door. Karma yelled out. "If that's Speid I don't want to speak to him." Tommy nodded and opened the door. Speid stood there he was white as a ghost. Speid said in the most serious voice I had ever heard him use. "I need to speak to my wife." Tommy looked over at me. I wasn't sure what to do. Tommy said. "Come on Speid let's go get a drink." Speid looked at me frowning at him and said. "Alright I guess." Tommy grabbed his jacket and kissed me before leaving.

Karma just looked down until Speid left. After Tommy and Speid left I tried to get Karma to talk to me. After crying for another 15 minutes she finally took a deep breath. "I cheated on Speid." She confessed. She started to cry again. "Could the baby be someone else's?" I asked quietly. "Not it was months ago and I'm only eight weeks along."

I felt bad for asking her. She told me that three months ago at one of her concerts she had too much to drink. This guy a fan was really sweet. Speid had left with Kyle and Wally. This guy offered to take her home. When she woke up the next morning she was naked in this guy's bed. She hurried home to Speid. He was sitting on the couch. He looked worried and kissed her. As soon as he kissed her she confessed what happened. I wasn't sure what to say as she had told me the story. After she had finished she was crying again.

(Tommy's point of view)

I wasn't sure what was going on with Speid and Karma. We had become such good friends. They always seemed so happy and neither of them had ever mentioned cheating. When we got to the hotel bar I ordered us a couple of drinks and shots.

I waited for Speid to talk. "She cheated on me." My mouth dropped open. The bartender had heard Speid and headed over with more shots. I spoke up. "When and what happened?" "A few months ago she was gone all night. I was so worried about her. When she got home I asked if she was okay. She told me she slept with some fan and promised to never cheat again" Speid put his head in his hands. Once again I was stuck not knowing what to say I mean I had cheated on a lot of woman and I always promised never again.

Karma wasn't me. Karma had made a mistake but she loved Speid. After a few more rounds I took Speid back up to his room. When I got back to my room I saw Karma asleep on our bed. I noticed Jude asleep on the couch. I lay down next to Jude. She stirred a little. I whispered never meaning it more than in this moment. "I love you." She said in a sleepily voice. "I love you too." I pulled her into my arms and fell asleep.

(The next morning) (Jude's point of view)

After our long night I finally got Karma to sleep. I was so tired I knew Tommy would take care of Speid so I lay down. About an hour later I felt Tommy next to me. I got up early this morning and headed to talk to Speid.

I knocked on Speid's room door. After about 10 minutes Speid opened the door hung over. When he saw me he started crying. I had never seen him cry before. I hugged him tight and guide us over to the couch. I told Speid about my talk with Karma. "Should I believe her?" Speid asked. "I believe her Speid." He looked at me chocked. "She loves you Speid she screwed up it happens." He nodded.

Suddenly he stood up and started pacing the room. "I'm gonna be a dad." I smiled. "Yeah Speid you are." He smiled and said. "I need to talk to my wife." "Yeah you do come on." Speid and I got back to my room. Tommy was dressed his hair was still wet obviously he had just gotten out of the shower. I ran and grabbed some clothes and I told Tommy to grab his stuff. We went to one of the other rooms so I could shower and get ready.

(Two hours later Tommy's point of view)

Jude had been quite all morning. I wasn't sure if it was because she was tired or if something else was going on. I started mixing the beat for (I'll be what you need). "Jude, does this sound right?" I said trying to get her attraction. "Huh? Yeah Tom it sounds great." I wonder what is going on in that beautiful head of hers.

Robbie came in he noticed Jude being quite too. "Man what is going on with you girl?" "I wish I knew. At lunch my cell phone rung. I said. "Hello." I was actually happy someone called and interrupted our lunch. "Hey dude I just wanted to say thanks for everything." I laughed. "So everything okay with you and Karma?" I asked. Jude's head shot up suddenly I had her full attention. Speid said. "Yeah dude we talked everything's okay," I smiled letting Jude know they were okay. "So are you excited you hear Jude's song?" Speid asked. "Yeah man we are going to start recording after lunch." "Awesome well dude my lady is yelling for me better go bye." "Bye Speid."

Jude smiled brightly. "So everything's okay with them?" "Yeah girl they're going to be fine." Now that I had her attention I decided to ask. "Girl, are you okay?" She looked at her cell phone. "Quincy we better get back to the studio we'll talk about it later." I felt anxious my stomach was in knots. Jude leaned over and kissed me.

(Jude's point of view)

I couldn't help but think about Speid and Karma. They are having a baby. I was excited I was going to be Auntie Jude. Suddenly something hit me like a ton of bricks. Tommy and I never talked about kids. I wanted to be a mommy but I didn't know if Tommy wanted to be a parent. We had never been stable long enough to discuss kids. Now I was questioning our future. I love Tommy so much but I want kids. I could even see them with my hair and Tommy's eyes.

When we got back to the studio I tried to focus. I was drinking my tea while Tommy set up. Robbie suddenly had something to take care of. I knew he was really just giving Tommy and me our space. He knew it was the first time Tommy would hear my new song all the way through.

As the slow beat started I began singing in a low sexy voice.

_Lickin my lips_

_Just imagine you_

_Running my hands down_

_Wishin they were yours_

_My fingers inside me_

I feel them but they aren't you

I swayed as the music played I watched Tommy watch me. His eyes were dark and he was licking his lips. I smiled evilly at him, before I cont. singing.

_I'll be your whore_

_Get wet just hearin your voice_

_I'll be your slut_

_Just gotta get you near_

_I'll be your stripper_

_Every night, every night of the week_

_As long as it ends with you _

_I'll be what ever you need_

Before I started the second verse I smiled at him. Tommy shot me a look I had never seen. I thought I knew all Tommy's looks. I licked my lips as Tommy starred. I started the second verse.

_Slowly takin off my clothes _

_Just for you_

_My thoughts sedative_

_My Minds not truly clear_

_Sexy panties, new bras_

_All for you_

_No one could ever_

_Make me feel the way you do_

_I'll be your virgin_

_I'll be you anything_

_Cause no one does what you do_

_No one can_

_Just, Just you_

I repeated the chorus and the song ended. I yelled Tommy's name. He was completely dazed. I laughed and walked into the booth with him. I hit the button and replayed the song. Tommy just sat there. "Tommy, Quincy so what did you think?"

(Tommy's point of view)

Oh my god! I am in shock. I knew the song was dirty and different. But damn when Jude started singing I was still shocked. Her voice was so deep and sexual sounding. She kept swaying her hips. When she licked her lips I wanted to just started fucking her right then. Did she just ask me something?

I can't focus. I wasn't sure what to do. I can't take it. I grabbed Jude and pull her into a passionate kiss. "So I guess I did good." She said with a giggle. "Hell, yeah girl." She sat down on my lap and we started making out. I was about to pull her shirt off when Robbie came in.

"Damn it." I mumbled. Jude bit her lip and giggle as Robbie looked at us confused. I got back to work after a few more takes we were done. Later that day I finished and burned all 15 songs onto a cd.

I noticed Jude was spacing out again. I decided we would talk tonight. I knew something was wrong with her. Shit, I hope I haven't fucked up again. I couldn't remember doing anything wrong but maybe I had.

"Girl?" "Yeah Quincy?" "Your fifth album is finished." She smiled and took the cd. "I love you girl." "I love you too." She said and kissed me. We dropped the finished album off in Andrew's office and left.

When we got back to the hotel, I ordered Chinese and told Jude we would just stay in fir the night. Jude smiled and nodded in agreement. Once again she was quite barely speaking at all through dinner. After we finished eating I took Jude's hand. "Jude, is something wrong?" I asked hoping it wasn't anything to serious.

(Jude's point of view)

We did it! Tommy and I had finished my fifth album. My new song had added a new and different element I was an adult now. We headed home to the hotel.

When Tommy said we would stay in I was happy to hear that. I didn't feel like going out. We ate in silence. I couldn't help but wonder about our future. How could I not know if Tommy wants kids? I couldn't imagine not having kids but could I be without Tommy if he didn't want kids.

"I guess you could say I'm concerned about something." I said when Tommy asked if something was wrong. "What is it girl?" I bit my lip I felt like crying. Tommy looked at me I could tell he was worried. Finally I got up the courage and asked. "Do you want kids Tommy?" He smiled. What did that mean?

(Tommy's point of view)

I wasn't sure what was going on. Jude was so upset and I could tell it was about us. When she asked if I wanted kids I had to smile. Is this what she was worried about? "I know we've never talked about it but yeah girl I want kids." She started crying. I wondered maybe she doesn't. "Jude, do you want kids?" She leaned over and kissed me. "Yeah Quincy I want babies with you." I couldn't help but feel my heart grow at Jude's words. She didn't just want kids she wanted them with me. I choked out. "A little girl who looks just like you." She smiled through her tears. "Or a boy who looks just like you."

We kissed again. I knew I was making the right choice about the release party. I had to do what was best for both of us. Jude and I are really meant to be and I don't give a damn how cheesy that sounds. Jude changed me forever.


	9. Chapter 9

Losing my Muse

Ch. 9

Warning: There is some sexual content in this chapter.

(The day before the release party)

(Jude's point of view)

It's still dark out and I'm awake that's just insane. 5am is beyond too early hell 9am is too early for me. But Tommy and I had to get to the airport. My Dad's flight from Greece is due in any minute and Jamie, Zep, Kwest, and Sadie are due in an hour. They were supposed to come in last night but they had a problem with one of their bands.

Speid and Karma picked Kyle and Wally up from the airport last night. I am so excited to have everyone I love all together. Well except for Mason but he is busy touring. I decided to announce that I am signing with NBR tonight at my pre-release party the hotel is throwing for my friends and me.

Tommy held my hand tight while we waited for my Dad. He doesn't look too nervous though. I decided to breakdown last night and tell my Dad about me and Tommy. But Sadie had already told him. He said he knew I regretted leaving Tommy to go to London. Finally I saw people coming off the plane. There he was my first real fan, my Dad. I ran to him and he hugged me.

(Tommy's point of view)

Only one more day we have to get through. I have to admit I am starting to get nervous. Waking Jude up before four this morning wasn't fun. I had to carry her into the shower and then dress her. I didn't want to be late to met Stuart's plane though. Jude was so adorable at the airport. I knew she couldn't wait to see her Dad. She hadn't seen him in months.

After Stuart hugged Jude he shook my hand. "Good to see you Tom." "It's good to see you too Stuart." I was glad our conversation has gone well or this would've been awkward. "Have you been taking good care of my baby girl?" He asked with a big grin. "I try Sir." I said honestly. He chuckled and the three of us headed to get his bags.

(Jude's point of view)

I went and got us all coffee while we waited for the flight from Toronto which was delayed. When I got back I had to smile at Dad and Tommy talking. It seemed serious but they both looked happy. I tried to sneak up to hear their conversation. Damn it, Dad saw me. "Hi Daddy!" I said sweetly trying to distract him. "Easy dropping isn't polite." My Dad said with a huge smile. We all laughed.

"Announcing flight 83 non-stop from Toronto arriving at gate 11." I saw Kwest first dragging Sadie behind him. I ran to my sister we hugged tumbling to the ground. Kwest laughed and went to greet Dad and Tommy. I saw Jamie and Zep heading towards us. Everyone laughed as Sadie and I tried to get up. "I missed you little sis." "Me too, Sades." I said trying not to cry. Kwest came up behind me and asked. "What about me?" I giggled. "I missed you too."

Jamie came over holding Zep's hand. I hugged both of them. I noticed Jamie's ring. What the hell that looks like a wedding band? I grabbed Jamie's hand and then Zep's. She was wearing a small diamond and a matching gold band. My mouth dropped opened.

"You guys got married?" I asked clearly shocked. Jamie smiled wide. "Yeah we did last weekend we went to Vegas to check out a new band and took the plunge." Tommy came over and congratulated them with my Dad right behind him.

"Jude, you not mad are you?" Jamie asked noticing I hadn't moved. "Yeah I'm mad I didn't get to be your best man." I said with a giggle. Jamie sighed with relief and everyone laughed. "So do you have any pictures?" I asked Zep. "Yeah Elvis married us and everything." Zep said as we looked at the pictures she had taken on her phone.

Everyone headed to baggage claim. I noticed photographers following us. They were shouting. "Jommy are you back together? Are you getting married? Are you heading home to Canada?" Tommy held my hand as we ran from them. He whispered. "Everyone's going to know won't that ruin your plan?" I shook my head and smiled. We all headed for the hotel.

(Two hours later)

(Tommy's point of view)

Jude and I started getting ready for the party tonight. She told me she had a big surprise for me tonight. I wondered what she got me. Jude and I headed to the elevator. Stuart, Sadie, and Kwest met us at the elevator. When we got to the beautifully decorated ballroom everyone else was already there including Robbie and Kristine.

We all sat down to an incredible dinner. After dinner Jude stood up ready to give a speech. She looked over at me before she spoke and smiled. Damn my girl is so beautiful. Her eyes lit up the whole room. Damn I'm sappy.

(Jude's point of view)

I decided to give a little speech to thank everyone. I walked over to my Dad who was sitting next to Tommy first. "Daddy thank you for all you love and support and for being my biggest fan." He smiled almost crying and hugged me. Next I went over to Robbie. "Thank you for listening to me cry and for all your hard work on this album." Robbie patted me shoulder also smiling. "Kristine, thank you for making sure I don't end up a fashion no." I said and everyone laughed. "But seriously thank you for putting up with me especially in London." She said looking at Tommy. "I'm just glad we found your muse." I walked over to Wally, Kyle, and Speid. "Thank you to SME for being my buds." They all jumped up and pulled me into a group hug. "I hope we can jam soon." They all nodded at the idea.

"Karma I never thought I would have anything nice to say to you but thank you for all you support and for loving my best bud." She hugged me too and said. "Thank you too Jude for everything." Everyone but Speid and Tommy were shocked. I walked over to Kwest and Sadie. "Kwest thank you for always supporting Tommy and me." "Anytime Star." He kissed me cheek. "Sadie thank you for being my big sis and my best friend." She started crying causing me to tear up too. "Thank you Zep for making my best friend a happy man and for being my friend."

I walked past Jamie and back over to Tommy. "And thank you Tommy for being my muse, for helping me to succeed yet again, for my second chance, but most of all for loving me." Tommy got up and kissed me passionately. I almost forgot where we were. Tommy stopped kissing me and whispered. "You forgot Jamie." I said loud enough for everyone to hear. "I didn't forget Jamie."

"Jamie, thank you for being my best friend my whole life, for letting me break you heart, oh and thank you for signing me boss." I heard what and then everyone but Tommy started clapping. I noticed Tommy hadn't moved. He was shocked to say the least. "Quincy you okay?" I asked.

(Tommy's point of view)

I watched as my girl thanked all of our friends. I couldn't believe she forgot to thank Andrews. As she thanked me I felt my heart beating faster at her beautiful words about me. After I kissed her I decided to tell her she forgot to thank Jamie. I knew his feeling would be hurt.

Then Jude said she didn't forget and walked over and began thanking Jamie. I was confused when she thanked him for signing her I thought maybe I heard wrong. I have to be dreaming right? Jude signed with NBR she's really coming home. "Jude, really?" I had to ask. "We are signing the papers tomorrow; I told you I had a surprise." Jude said. I kissed her again. "This is the best surprise I have ever gotten." I admitted to everyone with a huge grin. "So Quincy you interested in helping co-produce NBR's newest artist?" "Anything for you girl."

(Jude's point of view)

Tommy keeps smiling at me and winking I feel like I'm going to melt. SME are telling dirty jokes. My Dad even got embarrassed at a few of them. My cell phone vibrated I looked at my caller id it's my favorite cowboy. "Mas, hey how's it going?" "It's pretty good, how's the pre-release party going?" "It's great! Guess what?" "What?" "I signed with NBR." "Oh yeah, so did I." He said with a chuckle.

"That's great so I guess I'll have to wait for Canada to see my favorite cowboy." "Or you could see me now." "Huh?" I said confused. I saw Sadie and Tommy looking at each other smiling. Then Mason appeared in the ballroom with Chaz at his side. I ran over to them. I threw my arms around Mason first and then hugged Chaz.

Mason took Chaz's hand and headed to the two chairs Kwest had grabbed for them. I saw Wally's eyes get big. "You're gay Mason." He said obviously he didn't know. Then I noticed Kyle's eyes were wide too. "I knew about Mason but Chaz dude didn't you tap every girl insight." Chaz laughed and shook his head looking at Tommy. "Yeah well turns out that was his cover story." Tommy said. Speid spoke up trying not to laugh. "So Chaz you ever hit on Quincy?" We all started laughing as Tommy rolled his eyes. Around 2:30 we all headed up to our rooms.

(Tommy's point of view)

I told Jude to go ahead up to our room and I would meet her there. I checked on a few things for the release part and then ordered a few things for now. When I got to the room all the lights were out. I thought for a minute Jude had already headed to bed. Then I saw candle light coming from the bathroom. I heard a knock on the door. I ran over and took the try from room service. It had roses, champagne, strawberries, and chocolate sauce on it. I tipped the server and carried the tray into the bathroom. There was my angel covered in bubbles.

(Jude's point of view)

I saw Tommy come into the bathroom with a tray. He stopped and starred at me making me blush a little. "You see something you like." I said in a sexy voice. He walked over and laid the tray next to the tub. "Is that for me?" I asked motioning at the tray. Tommy nodded than started taking his clothes off.

"Care to join me?" I asked starring at Tommy's prefect naked body. He just smiled and got into the tub. He picked up the tray and uncorked the champagne. I took a drink out of the glass he handed me. Then he took a strawberry and dipped it in the chocolate and feed it to me. We sat in silence drinking out champagne and feeding each other.

Tommy lend over and kissed me softly. "I love you." "I love you too Tommy." His eyes were bluer than ever before. He kissed me again then he kissed me neck and down my collar bone. I started moaning. Tommy just smirked as my breath got heavier.

I grabbed the champagne and poured a little on his neck and chest then added some chocolate sauce. Tommy stayed still watching to see what I was going to do next. I licked the champagne and chocolate sauce off his neck and then his collar bone. I licked down his chest and smiled to myself when I heard him gasp. He grabbed me and pulled me close. "I love you Jude Harrison." Before I could respond he slipped into me and I screamed out.

After making love in the tub Tommy got out and helped me out. We headed off to bed. He pulled my naked body close to his. I whispered. "I love you Tommy Quincy." "I love you too girl good night." "Night, Quincy." We drifted off to sleep knowing the busy day we had ahead of us when we woke up.


	10. Chapter 10

Losing my Muse

Ch. 10

Author note: So I finally completed the final part to Losing my Muse. Yes I have a sequel. Oh and I don't own Instant Star or any of the songs except the two new songs I had Jude write in New York.

Thank you,

Cindy

(The morning of the party)

(Jude's point of view)

"_Good morning beautiful  
How was your night  
Mine was wonderful  
With you by my side  
And when I open my eyes  
And see your sweet face  
It's a good morning beautiful day." _

I heard Tommy singing he kissed me and sung it again. I opened my eyes slowly and smiled up at him. I looked at the clock it was shortly after 10 am. I saw a huge breakfast waiting for us. "Wow babe you didn't have to do all this." I said with wide eyes. Usually we just had a light breakfast. "Girl trust me you're going to need your strength and we'll probably not get to eat again until tonight." "Thank you Quincy." He kissed me and then said. "Eat up." After we finished breakfast we took a shower together knowing we wouldn't get anymore time alone for a while.

"Your sister and the rest of the girls are all down in the main ballroom helping decorate." "I guess I better head down there and help." I said trying to not sound sad. I really didn't want to have to leave Tommy yet. "I'll see you at three for my sound check right?" I asked trying to see the silver lining. "Yeah girl I'll see you then, I love you." "I love you too." I kissed him before hurrying downstairs to see what everyone had gotten finished.

"Morning ladies." I said cheerfully. Sadie started laughing. "What?" I asked confused. "I'm just surprised you're so awake this morning." Sadie said. "What are you talking about Sades?" She started laughing again and then said. "Well you and Tommy were going at it until almost five this morning." "What do mean?" I asked innocently. She laughed. "Kwest and I heard you two wow you're loud." "Oh uh um sorry." I muttered under my breath blushing to the color of a cherry I'm sure. All the girls were laughing so hard. Then Zep said. "Karma and Speid weren't any better they were at it until four." Then we all laughed again.

After we finished decorating and going over last minute details Tommy showed up for my sound check. "So Quincy what did you and the boys do while us girls were decorating?" "We all went and picked up our suits for tonight." "Oh yeah I bet yours looks very sexy." "You'll get to see later." He said with a chuckle. "Both your band up bands are nuts girl." "Why?" I asked. "Because both RTE and SME are wearing matching suits." "They're all wearing the same suit?" I asked. "No, RTE are wearing matching suits because SME is." "Oh okay." I said laughing somehow that made prefect sense.

"Okay girl time to sing." I giggled and headed to the stage. I started singing (Don't you Dare) knowing I wasn't going to be singing it tonight. I had a huge surprise for Tommy a brand new song. No one knew yet. I had worked on the lyrics and music by myself. I decided it would be my first single with NBR. Tonight I would be performing it with just an acoustic guitar. I practiced (Whatever you need) next trying to not sound as good as I planned to tonight. "Nice work girl." "Thanks Quincy." I knew it would be hard to surprise Tommy with him working sound so I decided to surprise everyone.

Though now I was wishing I had someone's opinion of my lyrics. I knew this was the most important song I had ever written. I decided to find Sadie after my sound check. I knew Sadie could give me an honest opinion even if her mouth didn't her face would.

The sound check went smoothly and I got to leave early. I went up to Kwest and Sadie's room. Sadie was in the shower when I arrived so Kwest let me in to wait for her. Then he decided to go find Tommy and see if he needed any help with anything for tonight.

I heard the shower shut off. "Kwest you still here?" She shouted. "Sorry not Kwest its Jude." She walked out in her robe. "What's wrong?" She asked. "Nothing Sades do I need a reason to see my sister?" "No of coarse not you just look tense. Is this about tonight?" She guessed. "Yeah kind of I wrote a new song for Tommy and I need an opinion before I sing it tonight." "You want mine?" She asked seeming surprised. "Yes, Sadie you're not only my sister but you work in the music business." "Okay let me read them." "Here but you have to be honest." I said and she nodded.

After a few minutes I saw tears in my sister's eyes. I'm pretty sure that is a good sign. "Wow baby sister their beautiful." "Really?" I asked. "Yeah Jude seriously their great does Tommy know you feel this strong? "I hope so but if not he will tonight." "Good luck tonight Jude." I smiled at my older sister. "Thanks Sades." Sadie and I left to join the other girls again to get ready.

(Tommy's point of view)

After Jude's sound check she left to go talk to Sadie. I decided to double check everything for tonight. Shane and Andrew had already been by but I wanted to make sure everything was prefect for Jude's big night. I saw Kwest come in while I straightened a picture of Jude.

"Party planning for you girl again?" He asked laughing. I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm nervous about tonight." I admitted. "Why man?" "After the party I am planning to ask Jude to marry me again." "Seriously Tom that's great." "I hope so but what if she says no." "Why are you waiting until after the party and does anyone else know?" "Because Jude would freak out if I asked her in front everyone. Only Stuart knows I asked his permission this time." I answered to his questions. "Wow poor Stuart having to give permission for both of his daughters to get married in one week." "You're asking Sadie to marry you?" I asked. "No I already asked and she accepted she just wanted to wait until after the party to tell everyone." "Hopefully when Sadie tells Jude she will be able to tell her we are engaged too." I said trying to sound upbeat. "Do you think you'll beat us to the alter?" Kwest asked. "I don't know that's totally up to Jude I mean she's not even 20 yet." "She will be soon though and I think she will want to get married fast she waited a long time to marry you Tom."

(Jude's point of view)

All of us girls got ready together. Sadie and Kristine were telling the hair stylist how they wanted my hair. I just sat there as the curled it and then put some kind of sliver clip in it to match my star ring. I put on my red dress with Sadie's help. Then I took off my star ring to put my gloves on and then put my star ring over my glove. Kristine got my blue dress ready for my performances.

As we all stood there in our dresses I couldn't help but smile. Sadie was in pink of course. Everyone looked so pretty. I was getting anxious to see the guys especially my guy. The girls all left to make their grand entrances. I waited for Tommy to come and get me.

(Sadie's point of view)

Jude is so funny sometimes she decided to have all her family and friends announced like at a ball. Kwest and I decided to be first so we could watch everyone's arrival. I heard the unseen announcer say. "Kwest Taylor and Sadie Harrison friend and sister of Jude Harrison." My sister was crazy she probably wrote that herself. I laughed and we walked down the huge stair case and found our table.

Kwest and I turned to watch our friends getting announced. "Stuart Harrison father of Jude Harrison." Dad looked great and all the women were starring at my dad. Dad came over and joined us at our table. He hugged me and told me how beautiful I looked. It wouldn't matter that I soon would be married I would always love my dad.

"Robbie Williams and Kristine West tech and designer friends of Jude Harrison and employees of S&A records." Poor guy that was a mouth full I thought with a giggle. Robbie headed for the table set up with his DJ and MC equipment. Kristine wondered off to. I was sure she was check on everything to make sure it was prefect even though that wasn't her job. Jude had made two good friends in them.

"Jamie and Zepland Andrews CEO of NBR and friends of Jude Harrison's." I noticed Zep face when they announced them you could tell how excited she was to hear her new last name. They both looked really cute. Jamie held on tight to his new bride. Jamie greeted a few people he knew before leading Zep to our table.

"SME's Wally and Kyle friends of Jude Harrison and her former backup band members." They both tripped coming down the stairs making both Kwest and I crack up. They waited at the bottom of the stairs. I guess Speid and Karma would be next.

"Recording artists Speiderman and Karma friends of Jude Harrison." Karma looked really pretty but I could already tell she was pregnant she hadn't told anyone her due date yet. I knew she was far enough a long to be showing a little at least especially on her tiny figure.

"RTE's Ricky, Terrance, and Kelly, Jude's back up band on Jude's great hits album." They goofed around all the way down the stairs. "Shane Knots and his wife Alison co-owner of S&A records." I hadn't really gotten to met Shane but Jude said he was a lot like Darius. "Andrew Jennikins and his wife Sarah co-owner of S&A records." Andrew reminded me of Tommy a lot.

The announcer had taken a break I noticed that it seemed everyone but Tommy and Jude were here. I couldn't wait to see Tommy and Jude together especially after Kristine told me they matched. I was so excited I knew Tommy was going to love Jude's song to him.

(Tommy's point of view)

Kristine came and found me she told me Jude was ready. All I could see was her blond hair in curls and the back of her sexy red dress. Jude turned around she looked so sexy absolutely amazing. "Girl you look incredible." "Thank you Quincy you look pretty incredible too." "I believe it's time you ready Miss Harrison."

I grabbed Jude's hand and we headed for the staircase. I heard the announcer say. "Now Ladies and Gentleman our star of the evening Jude Harrison and her co-producer boyfriend Tom Quincy." I smiled at her. "Co-producer boyfriend huh?" "Well that's you right?" She asked with a giggle. I nodded at her. We got to the bottom of the stair case and were greeted by the press. We finally made it to our table.

(Jude's point of view)

Everyone at our table stood up clapping making me blush. Tommy pulled my chair out to sit down. After we sat I heard Shane up on the stage. "Ladies and Gentleman thank you all for coming to the release party for Jude Harrison's greatest hits. Jude we have enjoyed working with you. It has been a pleasure to have you and Tom here at S&A records. We appreciate all your hard work." I'm so glad Shane liked the album.

Shane continued speaking. "Later this evening Jude will perform her new song (Whatever you need). Andrew and I offered to sign Jude for another album but she has already signed with another label. It has been a joy Jude."

Andrew stepped up to the microphone. "I'll keep this short and sweet. Jude, you are an incredible musician. Watching you work with Tom has been a great experience. Thank you both for all your hard work. Good luck with your future I can't wait to hear your new music."

Shane and Andrew left the stage and came over. Shane said. "I meant every word Jude." "Thank you Shane." I hugged him then he turned and spoke to Tommy. "Tom it was nice to work with you take good care of our star." "Nice to work with you too Shane I'll take good care of her." Then Tommy kissed my cheek and Shane left to met and greet.

Andrew's wife Sarah came over and stood next to Andrew while he talked to us. "Jude, Tom you both really are talented keep up the good work at NBR. If either of you need anything feel free to call." I hugged Andrew and said. "It has been amazing; we will see you again soon." He smiled at us and shook Tommy's hand.

Dinner was served. I ate the chicken and rice. We all sat eating and talking. I laughed at RTE copying SME's every move. Sadie and Dad were telling stories of when Sadie and I were little and use to put on shows for our parents and their friends. I use to sing of course and Sadie would dance or play an instrument.

"Ladies and Gentleman my name is Robbie Williams and I will be your MC and DJ for the evening. Every song was chosen it to be played tonight has been chosen by Jude's closet friends. So I'm sure you'll all enjoy the music." Robbie let all my friends pick the music that was so cool.

"First up is a song by Jude's friends SME here is Lips of an Angel be Hinder." I smiled at Speid, Wally and Kyle. Wally came over and asked me to dance and then I danced with Kyle. They only stepped on my feet four times a new record I do believe.

Then Robbie said. "This song is from RTE it is Stop this World by Ne-Yo they said they heard you singing it a few times around the studio." I smiled and took turns dancing with Ricky, Terrance, and Kelly. I finally sat down let me feet rest a little. 24 hours was playing it was Mason's request. He and I talked while Chaz and Tommy were talking.

"Next up here is White Lines Sadie Jude's sister picked this song she said it was her favorite of all of Jude's songs." I smiled and hugged my sister. Tommy asked me to dance. Kwest and Sadie joined us on the dance floor. "So Quincy are you having a good time?" I asked feeling nervous. "Yeah girl but anytime I'm with you is great." Tommy said as White Lines ended. The next song was Love to Burn it was my Dad's request so I danced with him.

"The next song was requested by Speiderman and Karma here is Want to by Sugarland." I liked this song the lyrics were really nice. I danced with Speid. Karma and Tommy danced together and then we switched off.

Then I heard Kwest. "I picked a special song for Tommy and Jude but they both know why I picked this song. So here is Time to be your 21. Tommy and I both laughed. "So Jude I guess I'll take 20." Tommy said referring to my birthday next month. Tommy kissed my neck softly.

Tommy and I sat back down before we heard Robbie's voice again. "The next song was chosen by Andrew he couldn't believe how well your voices blended together here is Here we go Again. Tommy smiled at me and led me to the dance floor. We sung to each other while we danced.

"This song is for Jude and Tommy from myself and Kristine. A little reminder of a crazy fun night the four of us had. Here is Little Moments by Brad Paisley." Robbie said. That night was just six weeks ago. Had it really only been six weeks. As we danced Tommy sung to me. His voice was low and rough but so beautiful. We swayed he whispered. "I love you." It's amazing how much three words can mean. "I love you too." When the song ended we stayed on the dance floor. I didn't care what song was next as long as I was in Tommy's arms.

"The next song was chosen by Jude herself when I asked her favorite out of all her songs. She told me it was Prefect so here is Prefect." Robbie said. I giggled and Tommy pulled me close. We danced fairly slowly even though the song isn't that slow. "This is your favorite song?" Tommy asked puzzled. "Yeah I think it describes us were not prefect but we are prefect for each other." I said with a big grin.

"Jude, Tommy don't leave the dance floor for the next song I am turning over my microphone to Jamie Andrews." "Hi everyone I'm Jude's oldest friend. I have seen her through a lot especially with Tom." Jamie said laughing. "I chose 2am it means a lot to both Jude and Tommy." Jamie said and then went to dance with Zep.

2am started playing Tommy pulled my as close as possible. He whispered. "Sing for me Big Eyes." I sung the song that use to represent our heartbreak to him. Tommy pulled back to look into my eyes. I noticed all of our friends dancing. Jamie came and kissed my cheek before going back to dancing with Zep. I mouthed thank you to Jamie.

"In about 30 minutes Jude will be performing. But for now we have one more song this one was chosen by Tom Quincy. Here is Good morning beautiful by Steve Holy. I remembered that it was the same song Tommy has woke me up singing this morning. Tommy grinned and sung in my ear while he held me tightly. "Tommy it's the prefect song." I said with tears in my eyes. "I wanted to choose one of yours but I couldn't pick just one." I couldn't help but let more tears fall down my face. I was suddenly happy Kristine made me wear the water-proof make-up. Tommy took his thumb and wiped the tears away while he kept singing. When the song ended he pulled me into a kiss that made me dizzy I almost fainted. I blushed as he guided us back to our table.

(Tommy's point of view)

After Jude and I got done dancing we went back to our table. After about ten minutes Kristine came and took Jude to get dressed for her performance. Jude told me I would like that dress even more. I couldn't imagine liking any dress more than that sexy red dress except maybe a wedding dress on her. Jude appeared on stage in her beautiful blue dress. I made my way over to the sound system. Robbie sat there next to me. He whispered. "Jude is going to give a little speech first then sing Whatever you need." "What about Don't you Dare?" I asked confused. Robbie shrugged. Why the hell did Jude make last minute changes without telling me? I heard the voice of my angel getting everyone's attention.

"I'm Jude Harrison welcome to my release party for my fifth album _Jude Harrison's greatest hits. _First I would like to thank Shane and Andrew for this wonderful opportunity. I have enjoyed New York so much. Everyone at S&A records has been so good to both Tom and I." I was glad Jude included my thanks to everyone.

"This album was challenging in a new way but also a lot of fun. I have worked with an amazing group of people. Including Kristine West my incredible fashion designer and also has been an assistant for me. Robbie Williams is an amazing sound tech and has you can all tell a great MC and DJ. Gina thank you for keeping us organized and on schedule." I had to laugh that Gina chick was scary but she did help us.

"RTE you have been a great back up band and I know you have all got great futures ahead of you. Now I saved the best for last." She smiled right at me. "Tom Quincy has been my producer, co-song writer, friend, my boyfriend but he is also my muse. I knew when I came to New York I had lost my muse and now I have him back. Tom has helped me create and inspired my music everyday I have known him." I smiled at my girl she really was the best.

"Tonight after I sing Whatever you need I have a new song inspired once again by my feelings for Tom Quincy." She had a new song? When did she write it? I wondered if she had just written it or if she had been working on it?

"My new song will be my first single with NBR who I signed with this morning." My eyes widened I thought Jude said she was announcing signing with NBR tomorrow. "I want to congratulate my friends Jamie and Zepland Andrews on their marriage and Speiderman and Karma on her pregnancy." Did Jude just out Karma's pregnancy to the press? I looked over at Speid and Karma to see if they were mad but they were both smiling. "Tomorrow Speid, Karma, and I will be having a joint press conference to let everyone know about our futures with NBR." Jude said.

"So without father do here is Whatever you need." She nodded for me to start the music. She sung it just as sexy as she had in the booth that day we recorded it. I could feel my pants getting tighter. I had remembered what Jude had said about her Dad hearing her new song. I looked over but Stuart was smiling I guess he knew his little girl was all grown up. When Jude finished the song she winked and blew me a kiss.

I saw Sadie go to the stage and hand Jude an acoustic guitar. I guess Sadie was the only person Jude had told about her new song because everyone else looked as surprised as I am.

"This is my new song called A song for Tommy. I wrote it for my true love, my soul mate Tom Quincy." I saw everyone looking at me. Robbie pushed me towards the stage. Jude began singing to me.

_Another beginning it starts now_

_Tonight is the night_

_The first night of the rest of our lives_

_Every smile and every tear_

_I love you more than yesterday_

_You'll love me more tomorrow_

_Another beginning it starts now_

_This is the first night_

_Of the rest of our lives_

Did Jude know I was planning to propose I wondered after hearing the first verse? This song was beautiful. And you could tell how emotional it was in her voice.

_I wanna be your wife_

_I'll wear you ring so proudly_

_I wanna be you Mrs._

_I'll wear a pretty dress_

_I'll promise myself to you forever_

I think my heart just skipped a beat. I couldn't believe she had said it. She wants to be my wife.

_I wanna be a momma to your babies_

_I wanna be your wife _

I noticed the tears in her eyes and my eyes were beginning to fill with them too. This was Jude's way of proposing to me. I had never heard anything more beautiful.

_You broke my heart a few times_

_But I survived because I knew_

_I broke your heart too_

_But you survived because you knew_

_In the we aren't happy without each other_

_There's no me without you _

_There's no you without me_

She was right neither of us could ever be truly happy without the other. We both knew that now. As she repeated the chorus the tear started running down her face as she smiled at me.

I ran towards the stage. She finished the final chord. I kissed her I was sure everyone was applauding but I couldn't hear anything but our two heart beats. As I pulled away I could tell she was nervous.

She was about to ask when I stopped her. I already had my proposal planned. I really wanted to do this right. I whispered. "That song is exactly how I feel and tonight I'll show you." She went to speak again. I cut her off and said. "Tonight." She nodded and kissed me. When we pulled apart I heard Robbie say. "Ladies and Gentleman let's hear it again for Jude Harrison." Everyone was clapping I heard cheers coming from all around us.

Robbie played more music and everyone except Jude and I were dancing. Jude was sitting in my lap. I took off her heel and rubbed her foot. She moaned in my ear causing me to chuckle. She kissed my neck and whispered. "I love you Tom Quincy." It was the first words she had spoke since she finished singing. "And I love you Jude Harrison." I continued rubbing her foot and then rubbed the other one. Everyone arrived back at the table getting their stuff to leave. We promised to have breakfast with everyone in the morning.

I picked Jude up into my arms. She gasped in surprise of my sudden action. I went towards the service elevator. Jude looked up at me with confusion in her big blue eyes.

(Jude's point of view)

Tonight has been so great and I have a feeling it's about to get even better. Tommy picked me up carrying me to the service elevator. I wondered why we were going on this one. "Tommy where are we going?" I asked as I saw him push for the top floor.

I could feel my heart beat quickening. I guess Tommy did too. He kissed my cheek and lowered me to the elevator floor. Then he grabbed my hand and led me to the roof. "Are we going to the roof?" I asked anxiously.

(Tommy's point of view)

This morning I went up to the roof and decided it was the prefect place. The hotel staff and Kwest helped me set everything up. I had Jude's CD playing in the background. There were white lights I think they call them twinkle lights and dozens of blue and white roses. The table was set up with candles, flowers, champagne, strawberries, and chocolate sauce all Jude's favorites.

Jude looked around and smiled. I guided her over to the table. "Whoa Quincy it's beautiful." She said looking around at everything. "It's okay, beautiful that's you." She rolled her eyes and blushed.

I dipped a strawberry in the chocolate sauce and feed it to Jude. She giggled when some of the chocolate sauce ran down her chin. I wiped it off her chin and then brushed my lips against hers. I poured us both some champagne. We took turns feeding each other. I took a deep breath and decided it was now or never.

"Did you mean what you said in the song?" I asked her already knowing the answer. "Yes I am ready to be your wife." "Good because Jude I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I want us to make music together and have babies and grow old together." She was crying again. I got down on one knee in front of her. Right on cue (2am) started playing. "I love you more than my own life. Jude will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?" She starred trying to catch her breath. I took out the blue ring with star diamonds around it.

(Jude's point of view)

Tommy was going to propose the roof looked amazing. We feed each other strawberries and drinking our champagne. My CD played in the background. Blue and White roses my favorite flowers.

Tommy asked if I meant what I said in the song. I noticed how nervous he was. Why shouldn't he be though less than a year ago I agreed to marry him and then left? I just wasn't ready but I am now.

His proposal was so sweet and straight from his heart. I started to cry as 2am played. When he said we would spend his life trying to make me happy I literally gasped trying to catch my breath.

Then he took out my ring. Wow that's my ring. It was incredible the same blue as I was wearing and the star diamonds made it beyond prefect. Oh no he looks so nervous but I can't even speak. I'm sobbing trying to say something.

"Yes Tommy I'll marry you." He swept me up into his arms pulling me off the ground. "Can I have my ring now?" I chocked out. He laughed and slipped the ring on my finger. "Finally that ring is exactly where it belongs." Tommy said with a huge grin on his face. I looked at him and asked. "How long have you had this ring?" "A long time Kwest was holding it for me and he made me bring it to New York with me. Remind me to thank him when we get home." He said and I nodded. He never really gave up on me. I was so happy to hear that.

We started kissing I couldn't stop. For once in my life I am sure about my future. I knew we needed to talk before I made anymore decisions. "So um Tommy when do you want to get married?" I asked biting my lip. He looked down not wanting to answer me.

(Tommy's point of view)

She said yes and this time I can tell she sure. When she asked when I wanted to get married I wasn't sure what to say. I mean she'll be 20 soon but she still so young and I don't want to move too fast or hold her back. But I want her to be my wife.

I just realized I hadn't said anything in ten minutes. Jude was sitting back in her chair. She looks so upset damn it. "Girl whenever you're ready to marry me I'll be ready too." "I was uh um well thinking six months." She stammered. I was shocked did she just say she wants to get married in six months. "I told Jamie that I was going to take my time with my next album." She said. "So in six months you'll be my wife." I said still clearly shocked she wanted to do it so soon. She nodded getting tears in her eyes again. I suddenly felt more happiness than I had ever felt I had tears in my eyes too.

(Jude's point of view)

In May I will be Mrs. Tom Quincy. I giggled myself. Tommy come over and asked me to dance with him. I felt his heart beating against my chest. He ran his hands up and down my arms.

He started kissing me. I moaned into the kiss. He's always passionate but this time was different. Tommy kissed down my neck sucking my pulse making me jump. He chuckled and then kissed my collar bone. He pulled down the blue strap. He kissed my breast and then took my nipple into his mouth. He blew on it making me yelp out.

He guided me backwards while kissing me again on my lips. He pushed me onto an air mattress I hadn't noticed. I giggled into the kiss. He leaned down taking off one of my heels kissing my foot and then up my leg to my inner thigh. Then he gave my other leg the same treatment.

He kissed me again before pulling his jacket and tie off. I unbuttoned his shirt as fast as possible. I ran my hands up and down the muscles of his chest. He groaned and I pulled his shirt out of his pants. Before I could unzip his pants he pushed me back and he pulled my dress over my head.

He starred down at me. "My Angel." He said quietly. I smiled unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down. He kicked off his shoes, socks, and then his pants. He was wearing a pair of silk boxers I had never seen before. "I thought I would wear something special." He said noticing my curious look. He pulled my pink lacey thong off leaving me completely nude.

His blue eyes were dark. He pulled me towards him. He ran his strong hands down my body. He made sure to touch every inch of me. I moaned and panted. He traced my breast and then around my nipples. He fingers made there way down my stomach. He took his tongue and licked my belly button.

He ran his hands down my pelvic bone and then inside my wetness. First he was gentle then rougher. He smirked pulling off his boxers. He entered me swiftly I yelled out. He laughed and kissed my neck.

As he kept going I moaned his name louder. I could feel him getting harder and harder inside me. He picked up the pace panting as loud as I was. He pulled my legs around him so he could go deeper. I arched up towards him as we moved in prefect motion.

Before he could go deeper I used all my strength and flipped us over. I got on top him and rode him like never before. I felt the sweat falling off my body and onto his. He was calling my name spurring me on. Finally we came at exactly the same time shouting each other's names.

I laid on top of Tommy with him still in me. He kissed my forehead and whispered. "I love you Jude Harrison soon to be Quincy." I smiled and said. "I love you too." I felt the rain falling on us. It was so cold. It had been such a warm day until now. Tommy quickly pulled me off him and wrapped me in a blanket.

He gathered up our stuff. We ran to the elevator. Then we headed to our room. We ended up making love three more times before we fell asleep. I never slept more peacefully in my life.

(Tommy's point of view)

We had to get up early and met everyone for breakfast before Jude's press conference. "Good morning fiancée'." Jude said smiling. "So no doubts future Mrs. Quincy?" She smiled at her ring and then me. "Not a one." I kissed her again. "Let's hurry and get a shower." I said picking her up and heading for the bathroom.

After our shower we were dressing when I noticed Jude had a blank expression. "Girl you okay?" "Um uh yeah just have a question." She said biting her lip. "You can ask me anything you know that Jude." "Would you um sit next to me at the press conference?" "Sure girl no problem." She smiled and kissed me. We headed to the elevator. "So Quincy who knew you were going to propose?" "Well I asked for your Dad's permission and I told Kwest early yesterday." She said. "You asked my dad?" "Yeah girl I told you I wanted to do this right this time." "I love you." "I love you too."

(Jude's point of view)

We got to our table. Speid, Karma, Wally and Kyle were already eating. The waitress asked. "What can I get for you Miss Harrison, Mr. Quincy?" "She'll take O.J. and coffee with lots of sugar." "And he'll take milk and coffee black." The waitress smiled we all ordered our breakfast.

"Tommy and I have an announcement." I flashed my beautiful ring and said. "We're getting married in May." Everyone started hugging us and telling us congratulations. Sadie said. "Kwest and I are also engaged." She showed me her ring. "Sades that's great." I hugged Kwest. "Why May Jude?" Sadie asked. "Because we'll need at least six months to plan a wedding and we want to get married ASAP." I thought my dad would be shocked but he seemed happy for us. "So Sades have you guys thought about a date yet?" "Not really I was thinking June but we should wait that's too soon after yours." "Sades?" I said really excited. "What Jude?" "What about a double wedding?" Tommy smiled and looked at Kwest both of them nodded.

"Okay." Sadie said hugging me. "We can start planning next week when Tommy and I get home." "Sounds great Jude this is going to be so much fun." We all toasted and ate our breakfast. Then we headed off to the press conference before going to the airport everyone was heading back to Toronto today except Tommy and me.

(Tommy's point of view)

I never thought I would be excited to get married again. When Jude suggested a double wedding with Kwest and Sadie I was actually more excited. We headed to the press conference. I sat next to Jude on one end while Jamie, Zep, Karma and Speid sat at the other end.

Jamie spoke first. "Good morning first I want to say how happy I am with all the recent good news at NBR. My wife and I have made a few decisions I want to share with everyone today. Zepland and I have decided to be Co-CEO's. Speiderman and Karma will be cutting their tour short to be home more. Also Speiderman and Karma have decided to do their next album together."

"Next as she announced last night Jude Harrison has signed with us. She will not only be an artist but a Producer. She has decided to take her time putting out her next album. I will let Jude fill you in on more details. Tom Quincy will once again be co-producing with Jude and also recording a single of his own." I turned to see Jude shocked face. I grabbed her hand. "And up last we would like to announce NBR's new Vice-President Sadie Harrison." Everyone was clapping. Jamie had offered for Sadie and I to be co-vice president but I declined I wanted to focus on my music now.

"Now I want to turn it over to Speiderman and Karma." Jamie said as he pushed his microphone away. Karma spoke first. "Speid and I are expecting our first child in June. We are thrilled. I'm sorry we have to cut our tour short but we promise to make it up to you. Our joint album is so exciting we are so grateful to get the full producing team of Kwest Taylor, Tom Quincy, and Jude Harrison." Yeah it would take all three of us to keep them in line. "Speidy do you have anything you want to add?"

"Yeah SME is also looking forward to reuniting to help not only with mine and Karma's joint album but with Jude's as well." I wondered if they would be willing to help me with back up too. Funny huh I never thought I would want Jude's back up band's help. "Now let me toss this over it my bud Jude Harrison." Speid said.

(Jude's point of view)

"Hi everyone once again let me say how happy I am to be going home and working at NBR with all of my friends. I can't wait to start producing and working on my next album. But yes my next album will be delayed just a little because I will be busy planning my wedding to Tom Quincy." I said nervously flashing my ring. The photographers were going crazy nearly blinding me. Tommy reached over and grabbed my hand. "Tom and I are planning a joint ceremony with my sister Sadie Harrison and her fiancée producer Kwest Taylor in May." I stammered a bit over my words. I whispered. "Is there anything you want to say Tommy?" He shook his head no and I pushed the mic away.

Jamie said. "Thank you all for coming and we are looking forward to all the new improvements at NBR." The press was yelling out questions. Jamie signaled for Speid, Karma, Tommy and I to leave. We all left running from the press. When we got back upstairs to our room I noticed more bodyguards.

(Later that afternoon)

(Still in Jude's point of view)

We were in the airport biding our friend's goodbye. But just for a week then we would be home too. We hugged everyone and sent them off including my Dad who had decided to get an apartment back home. He wanted to be around for Sadie and Me. Especially while we were planning probably realized we would need a reefer.

Tommy and I headed back to the hotel. After getting chased by the press and eating we fell asleep. We slept really late I guess we were worn out after everything.

We spent the next week packing. Robbie and Kristine came and helped us. Everyone S&A records had agreed to come to the wedding. It was hard to say goodbye this was the place where I got my life back. But Toronto will always be home. I knew Tommy and I would come back to visit.

We were packing the last box when cell rung. When I got the good news I was jumping around. Tommy laughed. "Who was on the phone?" "My house in London sold!" I said I felt like it was prefect timing. Tommy asked. "Does that mean you won't let me pay for anything again?" I laughed and rolled my eyes.

(A few days later)

(Tommy's point of view)

Jude and I were standing in the airport with Robbie and Kristine waiting for our flight. Jude wanted to drive her mustang but I convinced her to let me have it shipped home. We all went to baggage claim. "Announcing boarding first class Flight 70 New York to Toronto." We heard over the loud speaker.

"Robbie man it's been great take care of your girl and we'll see you two in May." I said and we did a manly hug. "Take good care of Jude no making her cry got it?" Robbie said laughing. "Jude take care star." She hugged Robbie. "Okay you two we'll see you in May but I expect lots of phone calls and e-mails before than okay?" Jude and I smiled and both hugged her. We boarded the plane waving good bye to them.

(Jude's point of view)

"So Quincy you ready to plan a wedding?" "Yeah I guess so." He said laughing. I looked out the window as we took off. We were finally headed home. I still had a few questions but I knew Tommy was the final answer to the important ones because I can't lose my muse and soul mate ever again.

The End


End file.
